Melissa Villaseñor Reveals She Was 'Struggling' with Her Mental Health Before Leaving Saturday Night Live
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Melissa Villaseñor is getting candid about her mental health and the way in which it impacted her decision to leave Saturday Night Live after six seasons.
On Monday's episode of The Last Laugh podcast, the comedian, 35, revealed that she decided to leave the long-running late night show after it took a major toll on her mental health.
"It was my decision," she shared. "I gave myself a lot of time in the summer to think on it and kind of play out in my head if I go back… At the end of the day, it was about my mental health."
"Last season, I had a couple panic attacks," she continued. "I was struggling, and I always felt like I was on the edge of a cliff every week. I was like, 'I don't want to do that to myself anymore.'"
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RELATED: Three More SNL Stars Exit: Melissa Villaseñor, Alex Moffat and Aristotle Athari Won't Join Season 48
Villaseñor, who is the author of the new book Whoops… I'm Awesome, added that she struggled as an introvert in the cast but "it's not like the show was mean towards me or anyone."
Related video: Melissa Villasenor on her countless impressions and lessons from SNL
"It was just how I handle things. I think I'm an introvert," she explained. "When I'm in a big group of a lot of amazing people, and everyone's speaking over everyone else, I think I tend to get small. I get nervous, like, where do I fit? What am I supposed to do? That's how I was in high school, too."
"And so I think that's what caused it. And I was like, I think I'm OK," she added. "I feel like there's nothing else that I feel like, oh, I need to be sharing this, I want to do this on the show. I think I'm ready. There was just something telling me, I think I could part ways."
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RELATED: SNL Creator Lorne Michaels Calls Season 48 a 'Transition Year' in the Wake of 7 Cast Members' Exits
Villaseñor — who was perhaps best known for her portrayal of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the series — admitted that it was still "super hard" to leave SNL.
"I love Lorne [Michaels]! And I am so grateful for all of them for having me. And I shared with them that this was my kid dream," she said. "This is all I wanted as a kid. So I'm going to carry that forever in my heart, that I got to experience that in my life."
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Villaseñor was one of seven SNL stars to exit the series before its season 48 premiere.
Emma McIntyre/Getty; Patrick McMullan via Getty; Theo Wargo/Getty
Aidy Bryant, Kate McKinnon, Pete Davidson and Kyle Mooney kicked off the cast exodus in May with announcements of their departures at the end of season 47.
PEOPLE later learned in September that Alex Moffat and featured comedian Aristotle Athari would also not be returning.
SNL will return on Oct. 29 with Jack Harlow as both host and musical guest.
If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
