Meghan Markle cries in video diary from 2020: ‘I don’t know what to say anymore’

Becoming a member of the royal family wasn’t easy for the former Meghan Markle, but as a video diary featured in the Netflix docuseries “Harry & Meghan” suggests, leaving the U.K. behind in 2020 wasn’t a breeze, either.

The first episode of the six-part series showed an emotional clip the Duchess of Sussex filmed herself in 2020, after she and husband Prince Harry announced their decision to "step back" from their official roles as working royals and move to North America.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she says, clearly overwhelmed, in the video, while Harry was in London. Today, the couple lives in Montecito, Calif.

A subsequent video featuring Harry sets the tone for the frustrations Meghan felt in that moment. In it, Harry speaks of his concern for his family’s safety after Meghan and their then 1-year-old son, Archie, had faced a worrying “level of hate" in Britain.

The duchess cries in her video diary as she reflects on the turmoil.

“I just really want to get to the other side of all of this,” she says. “I don’t know what to say anymore."

Throughout "Harry & Meghan," the couple speaks to the intense media attention and racist attacks that came Meghan's way after their 2018 marriage, as well as what they felt was a lack of outspoken support from the royal family.

Meghan appears to address the latter in her clip, noting, “Unfortunately, in not standing for something, they are destroying us."

Harry says, "I feel as though being part of this family, it's is my duty to uncover this exploitation bribery that happens in our media."

The first three episodes of the six-part docuseries, which was co-created by Harry and Meghan's own production company, Archewell Productions, are currently available to stream on Netflix.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com