What Megan Thee Stallion Wants Survivors of Violence to Know: 'You Are Not at Fault'
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In a new as-told-to for ELLE, Megan Thee Stallion gave her first and final account of how Tory Lanez’s assault of her and the corresponding trial, resulting in his December 2022 guilty verdict, profoundly changed her. She privately fell into a depression—and pulled herself out. Now, she has hard-earned, honest advice to other survivors of violence.
Regarding her journey to healing, she said, “I was once told that you can’t have crucifixion without resurrection, and that statement resonated so deeply with me. This is a rebirth of a happier and healthier me. I’m a survivor and I have—and will continue—to embrace the highs and lows of my journey. I’m excited to get back into music, because I have been so transformed.”
She said the guilty verdict “was more than just vindication for me, it was a victory for every woman who has ever been shamed, dismissed, and blamed for a violent crime committed against them.”
“But my heart hurts for all the women around the world who are suffering in silence, especially if you’re a Black woman who doesn’t appear as if she needs help,” she continued. “So many times, people looked at me and thought, ‘You look strong. You’re outspoken. You’re tall. You don’t look like somebody who needs to be saved.’ They assumed that, per preconceived stigmas, ‘I didn’t fit the profile of a victim,’ and that I didn’t need support or protection.”
“Time after time, women are bullied with backlash for speaking out against their attackers, especially when they’re accusing someone who is famous and wealthy,” she added. “They’re often accused of lying or attempting to make money from their trauma. From firsthand experience, I know why a lot of women don’t come forward. Any support and empathy that I received was drowned out by overwhelming doubt and criticism from so many others.”
That said, she has some words she wants all survivors—and allies of them—to hear:
For anyone who has survived violence, please know your feelings are valid. You matter. You are not at fault. You are important. You are loved. You are not defined by your trauma. You can continue to write beautiful, new chapters to your life story. Just because you are in a bad situation doesn’t mean you are a bad person. Our value doesn’t come from the opinions of other people. As long as you stand your ground and live in your truth, nobody can take your power.
We can’t control what others think, especially when the lies are juicier than the truth. But as a society, we must create safer environments for women to come forward about violent behavior without fear of retaliation. We must provide stronger resources for women to recover from these tragedies physically and emotionally, without fear of judgment. We must do more than say her name. We must protect all women who have survived the unimaginable.
Read Megan’s full as-told-to here.
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