Meet the Woman Behind the Stigma-Breaking 'Menopause Cafe': 'Why Does Nobody Talk About This?' (Exclusive)

Rachel Weiss started a global menopause movement to foster discussion around the change that all women experience as they get older

When one British woman realized there was a deafening silence around the topic of menopause, she decided to start the conversation.

Rachel Weiss was 50 when she sat down with her husband in February 2017 to watch a BBC documentary about menopause. “I thought, ‘Well, it’s going to happen to me some time, so I might as well watch it,' ” recalls Weiss, a psychotherapeutic counsellor based in Perth, Scotland.

“What struck me was all these different symptoms I’d never heard of. I just thought, ‘Period, period, period,’ then it stops, and I might get some hot flashes — and that was the extent of my knowledge. And the second point was ‘Why does nobody talk about this?’ ”

Weiss decided to do just that. She posted on Facebook asking whether any other local women had seen the documentary, and if they’d be interested in talking more about the menopause. Nearly 30 people showed at Perth’s local Blend Coffee Lounge. “The buzz in the room was amazing,” recalls Weiss, now 57, who remembers how one local woman jumped in the car to join them after seeing the initiative mentioned on the local news. “She arrived just as we were packing up, so we stood on the pavement chatting to her.”

Since then, the series of pop-up events known as Menopause Café has become a registered charity, with a growing team of volunteers who hosting meetings across the U.K., Canada and the U.S.

“We aren’t medical experts, but we give people a space where they can come and talk,” says Weiss, who offers free guidelines for anyone interested in hosting their own Menopause Café. “The top two things women say when they leave are, ‘Now I know I’m not alone,’ ” says the mom-of-three. “'And, I know I’m not going mad.' "

Related: Salma Hayek Says Her Breasts 'Have Just Kept Growing' as She Goes Through Menopause

Anyone can host a meeting (registering online first and following the guidelines) but it’s not just women going through menopause who can attend — women of any age are welcome, as are men. “It’s a brave man who would walk into a room full of menopausal women!” jokes Weiss, who says men are more likely to attend a workplace café with colleagues. “It’s brilliant when the male CEO turns up to the café and then blogs about it or emails their team, because education is key.”

Near menopause herself (the change is confirmed when 12 months have elapsed without a period and can include a range of symptoms: sleep problems, anxiety, depression, weight gain, heavy bleeding, joint pain), Weiss says the coffee gatherings are more than a chat about hot flashes and night sweats.

Related: Paulina Porizkova Shares Gym Workout, Says Staying in Shape After Menopause Is 'a Lot of Frickin' Work'

“What we’re tackling when we tackle menopause awareness is society’s gender ageism, which tells us that being an older woman is a bad thing, that juggling all those balls is a bad thing. Maybe it’s not?”

In September, the charity will host its fifth annual #FlushFest in Edinburgh, featuring workshops and discussions with medical experts — including a sleep therapist and nutritionist, as well as sculpture-making workshops and sing-alongs, with the proceeds going back to the charity.

For the first time ever, the event will be run in-person and virtually, with online participants asked to pay what they can afford. “We’ve created something special and it’s really satisfying,” says Weiss, whose daughter is volunteering alongside her at the festival. “It’s hard to accept that this is a transition and we might need to slow down or start putting ourselves first.”

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