Mattel Has A Ton Of Toy Movies Coming Out, And They Progressively Sound More Unhinged
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Greta Gerwig may have ruled out the possibility of a Barbie sequel, but that doesn't mean Mattel doesn't have its eyes on the franchise prize.
Thanks to reporting by Variety and the New Yorker, we now have even more info on alllllll the upcoming toy movies. So, we used AI to create posters based on the very real movies they've got in store:
Barney
The vibe: “A24-type” and “surrealistic.”
Big names attached: Daniel Kaluuya as a producer.
Further comments: Robbie Brenner, the producer who runs Mattel Films, told Variety, “I don’t know that it’s necessarily going to be darker. It’s just going to be unique — more of like a Being John Malkovich or an Adaptation.”
Polly Pocket
The vibe: A family comedy.
Big names attached: Lily Collins as the titular Polly and Lena Dunham as the director and writer.
Further comments: There is a script! And, according to Brenner, it is "great."
Hot Wheels
The vibe: “Grounded and gritty.”
Big names attached: J.J. Abrams as producer.
Further comments: Per Variety, Brenner said that there will be “real characters that you can relate to, that are three-dimensional, that have emotional journeys.” Also, there will be cars, monster trucks, and motorcycles — which I initially misread as literal truck monsters.
Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots
The vibe: Unclear.
Big names attached: Vin Diesel as star and producer.
Further comments: According to a Deadline piece from 2021, it "follows a father and son who form an unlikely bond with an advanced war machine."
American Girl
The vibe: Family comedy that's Booksmart meets Bill & Ted.
Big names attached: No one thus far.
Further comments: It's based on the world of the dolls.
Magic 8 Ball
The vibe: Horror-comedy.
Big names attached: The guy who wrote Cocaine Bear, Jimmy Warden, is working on a script.
Further comments: Brenner told the New Yorker that it “walks the line a little bit" of an R-rated movie.
Masters of the Universe
The vibe: Action-adventure.
Big names attached: Kyle Allen was set to star as He-Man but...we'll see.
Further comments: Netflix recently passed on the project despite spending $30 million in development.
Major Matt Mason
The vibe: "A Close Encounters of the Third Kind-esque drama for adults."
Big names attached: Tom Hanks will star and The Da Vinci Code screenwriter Akiva Goldsman will pen the script.
Further comments: It'll be based on a short story by Michael Chabon, which appears not to be published online. According to Mattel Films VP Kevin McKeon, “It’s prestige-y and asks really pointed questions about life and our place in the universe.”
Uno
The vibe: Probably not a heist or in Atlanta’s hip-hop scene.
Big names attached: None so far.
Further comments: There was originally a script for a "fuck-heavy" heist movie set in Atlanta written by Marcy Kelly (the heist part was the studio's idea), but they ended up passing on it not too long ago.
View-Master
The vibe: Family adventure.
Big names attached: None so far.
Further comments: It'll involve VR, somehow.
Matchbox
The vibe: Action.
Big names attached: None so far.
Further comments: Brenner apparently inspired the movie's villain. Also, five writers camped out for a week with the Matchbox play sets and a whiteboard. Take from this what you will.
Thomas & Friends
The vibe: Fantasy.
Big names attached: Marc Forster is set to direct, aka the guy who directed World War Z and Quantum of Solace.
Further comments: It'll be a mix of live-action and animation.
