Maria Menounos Thought Her Husband May Have to Raise Their Baby Alone: 'We Imagined the Worst' (Exclusive)

The mom-to-be, who recently survived pancreatic cancer, opens up to PEOPLE about her deepest fears and triumphs in this week’s issue

Maria Menounos is known for her positive, can-do attitude, as evidenced on her Heal Squad podcast, where she and expert guests work to help listeners learn about their health and find solutions.

That said, when it came to being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this past January, she admits she fell into despair. "When you are met with a [potential] death sentence," she says, "everything changes."

The star, 44, is nearly three months out of a successful surgery that removed a 3.9 cm. tumor from her pancreas. "I'm grateful," she says now of having a clean bill of health, though she'll continue to get scans for the next five years. Still, it wasn't long ago that the mom-to-be (she and husband Keven Undergaro are expecting a baby girl via surrogate this summer) were preparing for the worst.

"We're usually really good in crisis," says Menounos of her and Undergaro, 56, her husband of five years who back in 2017 helped her through being diagnosed and treated for a benign brain tumor. "This one," she says regarding her recent pancreatic cancer diagnosis, "this one freaked him out. He was really scared."

As was she. When she received the news, "I was like 'How could God finally bless me with a baby and then take me before I get to meet her?'" she recalls thinking. "I guttural cried, it was so intense."

She remembers sitting down with her husband and saying "'If something happens, here are the people I want her around and what I want you to do. You'll probably have to move back East to be with my dad so that she has him.' We talked about all of it. We imagined the worst."

Despite how devastated she was in the moment, Menounos says she stopped short of asking 'Why me?' "When my mom was sick and we were giving her safe passage," she says of mom Litsa, who died of brain cancer in 2021, "my dad would say 'why us?' And I'd go 'Dad, why not us?' I'm not saying 'Why me?' because I know it's 'Why everybody?'"

Related:Maria Menounos Speaks Out After Her Brain Tumor Scare: 'I'm Doing Great'

Despite the fears she had, Menounos leaned on her practice of meditation and all she'd gleaned from her work with Heal Squad to find the light. After her surgery in February and healing these past few months, she's added a new practice. "I talk to my pancreas every day, I talk to all of my body organs and say 'I really love you. Thank you for handling everything.'"

And Menounos—who is working to promote early health interventions and the affordability of whole-body MRI's like the life-saving one she received from the company Prenuvo—is also thankful she's around to share a few words with her unborn baby.

"I talk to her all the time," she says of sending voice recordings that her surrogate plays near her belly. "She kicks and moves around like crazy every time. I'm looking forward to that whole other chapter. I'm excited."

For more on Maria Menounos, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE on stands Friday.

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Read the original article on People.