Mandy Moore Shared How 'Empty' She Felt During Her Tumultuous First Marriage to Ryan Adams

Mandy Moore is happily married to Taylor Goldsmith, but her fairy-tale ending that includes her two sons, Gus, 2, and Ozzie, 1, almost didn’t happen. She was formerly married to singer Ryan Adams from 2009 until 2016, and it was a time in her life that left her rather lonely.

The This Is Us star reflected on the tumultuous marriage that began when she was only 24 on the Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson podcast. She felt like the impetus to wed came out of her parent’s divorce which was happening right around the time she decided to marry the rocker. “I was so heartbroken, and it seemed like a perfectly appropriate time to get married and focus on this very personal, quiet chapter in my life,” she explained. Instead, their union left her feeling “hollow, empty, [and] isolated.”

More from SheKnows

• Gwen Stefani & Blake Shelton Find the Perfect Way To Shut Down Rumors About Their Marriage for Good

Looking back on the sad situation, Moore expressed that it feels like an out-of-body experience. “It’s so weird because I think back to that chapter and it almost feels like it was someone else entirely that it happened to,” she shared.  “I’m married and I have children and it’s almost like, how did I ever do that? How did I ever find myself in that place where I allowed myself to be treated that way [and] that I viewed myself that way?”

In 2019, Moore, along with six other women, came forward to speak with The New York Times about Adams’ “pattern of manipulative behavior” in coercing female performers into sexual acts in exchange for career advancement. For Moore, their marriage became what she believed to be “psychologically abusive.” She told the media outlet, “He would always tell me, ‘You’re not a real musician, because you don’t play an instrument.’” Instead of career opportunities coming her way, she found herself at a complete standstill in Hollywood. “His controlling behavior essentially did block my ability to make new connections in the industry during a very pivotal and potentially lucrative time — my entire mid-to-late 20s,” she added.

Moore now has everything she has ever dreamed of with Goldsmith and their two boys, but it’s like looking at a stranger when it comes to her former life with Adams. “That’s an entirely different person [that] I don’t recognize, I don’t relate to [her] at all,” she summed up. “I can’t even put myself in those shoes again, it’s strange.”

Before you go, click here to see more celebrity couples who were young when they got married.

Best of SheKnows

• Emily Blunt, Mandy Moore, & More Celebrities Who Gracefully Handled Wardrobe Malfunctions

• 18 Best Books About Marilyn Monroe’s Life & Loves

• 33 Great Shows Netflix Canceled in 2 Seasons or Less

Sign up for SheKnows' Newsletter. For the latest news, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.