Mal looks back on learning Yoly fell in love with Xander on The Ultimatum: Queer Love
WARNING: This post contains spoilers for The Ultimatum: Queer Love.
Mal's second trial marriage on The Ultimatum: Queer Love came with one huge unexpected obstacle.
Reuniting with longtime girlfriend Yoly was not just about mending their relationship after the time Yoly spent in a trial marriage with Xander on the Netflix LGBTQ+ dating show. Mal was also changed by her trial marriage. While Mal felt supported by her time with new partner Lexi, Yoly had fallen in love with Xander during the experience. We spoke to Mal about trying to make her relationship with Yoly work in spite of the new romance, that messy group outing, and what she takes away from her time on The Ultimatum: Queer Love.
Courtesy of Netflix Yoly Rojas and Mal Wright on 'The Ultimatum: Queer Love'
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You and Lexi had a great bond. What did you learn about yourself during that time that you were bringing into your reunion with Yoly?
MAL: Lexi is very much an alpha in planning if you will. She speaks about the things she wants and has a tangible plan for them. She's very practical. The way she advocated for me, and she still advocates for me, was something I needed at the time.
What do you think about saying that Yoly could find someone in that first episode now looking back?
It was one question out of the many, but I knew Yoly as a friend before I knew her as a lover. In fact, I knew her dating someone else. The way I saw her on the show with Xander, I have seen Yoly this way before. When she was with that person, it was only for a couple of months. There were a lot of grand words used around their relationship. I get that she brought me to The Ultimatum, but every bit of her type is here.
Can you take us back to the moment where Yoly shares with you the feelings she's developed for Xander?
I was excited to go back home, right? I love Lexi down. That's my girl, but I know what we came here for. I go back home to see my partner and she didn't even have to say anything. Immediately, I knew there was something. In my mind, if this is the person I intend to spend my life with, then the person she needs me to be in that moment is her friend. She doesn't need her lover. I felt like I had to show up for her and help her through a breakup because I plan to be with you forever. It doesn't mean it's easy. We also had been through therapy every week prior to this moment, so we know the ways to articulate what's going on.
Courtesy of Netflix
What was the hardest part of the process?
To try to get back to a space of normalcy together. In my experience, we're dealing with processing a breakup. We're dealing with feeling like you are prematurely leaving something because she was forced to do something she didn't want to do. That was hard because I'm not sure she was able to fully devote herself to the process of rebuilding.
During this batch of episodes there is a group outing where there's a lot of awkward energy surrounding Vanessa and then also Xander and Yoly being around each other while with the group. What do you remember about that gathering and is there anything that struck you when watching it on TV?
The issue I had with Vanessa was she had sent me a DM about Yoly and Xander still being in communication when we were explicitly told not to communicate with our exes. Yoly also told me she didn't want me speaking to Lexi; however, she was still speaking with Xander. My beef, if you will, was I felt like Vanessa wanted to stir the pot. I don't understand why she didn't take that up with Xander or Yoly, but I'm not sure what she wanted me to do. It wasn't that deep. I was most disappointed with Yoly. She was the one that said don't talk to Lexi, and so did Netflix production. I'm telling Yoly I get it, but I also understand what you just came from and the person Xander is about to go back with. Check on them. Check on their mental well being. Yoly said they weren't going to speak. The content of what they were speaking about was not that deep, but it was how it was handled.
We're going into next week's finale when everyone makes their decisions. Can you take us back to where your mind was ahead of that big choice?
Throughout the whole process, my wanting to marry her never wavered. I was always pretty sure about what I was gonna do. Before the show we had a meet up with our families, which in my mind were steps in the direction of merging our lives together. For me, this is a portion of time in our relationship if we're going to be together forever. This thing is a season. I'm aware there's a possibility that she might say no, but I'm still thinking I'm still going to propose to this girl. If she says no, then when we walk away from this thing she can't question my intention. It also means that there's no spinning the block on me.
Courtesy of Netflix Yoly Rojas and Mal Wright on 'The Ultimatum: Queer Love'
However this ends, what is your takeaway from this experience?
Don't give your person an ultimatum. It might work for some people. For me, it's not a thing I would do. I would not issue one to anybody and I don't know that I would want to be with anyone that does. I don't expect everybody to understand that lens.
The Ultimatum: Queer Love returns with its final episodes June 7 on Netflix.
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