Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade 2023: Every New Balloon Ranked (and Judged)
You know Snoopy and Sonic, Goku and Wimpy… Pikachu, Baby Shark, Ronald and Bluey…
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But you’ll recall a few more famous names after Thursday’s broadcast of the 97th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, which introduced seven new balloons to the star-studded (and already crowded) lineup.
Two of the balloons joining the festivities this year hailed from major Netflix projects, one about a silly guy with a goofy voice… and one starring Adam Sandler.
The parade also welcomed its first-ever NFT balloon, featuring Cool Cats mascot Blue Cat and his milk carton pal Chugs. According to a press release from the founders of Cool Cats, these are “two of the most popular Web3 characters” at the moment, and who are we to disagree? (No, seriously, don’t ask us to explain who they are. Or what NFT stands for.)
And lest you doubt that Hollywood’s increasingly unrealistic beauty standards also impact parade balloons, let’s just say that you might be surprised at how many classic characters have gotten a little work done since we saw them last year. (No judgment, though. Snoopy is 511 in dog years, and we respect whatever he needs to do to keep it tight.)
Read on for a breakdown of this year’s biggest first-timers from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, then drop a comment with your personal favorites below.
7. Migration’s Lame Duck
As always, this year’s parade was full of beloved characters fans couldn’t wait to see. It also featured “Uncle Dan,” a curmudgeonly duck voiced by Danny DeVito from Illumination’s forthcoming Migration.
Sorry, but the movie doesn’t come out for another month, and they already expect us to get excited about this limp duck eating a sandwich? Fill DeVito with hot air and march him down Sixth Avenue, then maybe we’ll talk.
6. Droopy Snoopy
Going from Astronaut Snoopy (left, 2022) to Beagle Scout Snoopy (right, 2023) feels like a downgrade — at least career-wise — but NBC’s Broadway correspondents still managed to give his debut a little razzle dazzle.
“We are mere fleas compared to this balloon,” Andrew Rannells remarked, to which Josh Gad replied, “I think as a dog, Andrew, he wouldn’t appreciate that.” Banter for the win!
Still, we have to deduct points for styling. How is Snoopy even supposed to see his own debut with that hat covering his eyes?!
5. Nipped, Tucked and Baked at 350 Degrees
The differences are subtle, but this was actually the third version of the Pillsbury Doughboy balloon to appear in the parade (pictured here to the right of last year’s appearance).
Let’s just say what we’re all thinking: Ozempic?
4. Po Yeah!
When Savannah Guthrie asked, “What’s black and white and floating through Manhattan?” we got a little scared (dementors?!), but we were pleasantly surprised to see that she was merely introducing this new version of Kung Fu Panda‘s Po, his second iteration since he first joined the parade in 2010.
3. We Are Leo, Leo Is Us
We were ready to snark all over this balloon… until we looked into his eyes. This guy obviously hasn’t seen a decent night’s sleep in days, but it’s the holidays damn it, so he’s going to slap a delirious smile on his face and pretend he isn’t hallucinating this whole experience. God bless us, every lizard.
2. N(ew) F(reaky) T(hing)
The worst thing a new parade balloon can be is boring, and this was definitely not that.
However, the duo does leave us with a few troubling questions: Why does the carton (aka Chugs) have a face? Is it alive? And does it get recycled once Blue Cat has drained it of its milky innards?
(For the record, we don’t actually want answers.)
1. Monkeying Around
While you were busy shopping for a pair of Thanksgiving pants in anticipation of the big day, manga-turned-Netflix star Monkey D. Luffy was apparently hitting the gym, because our guy is looking snatched.
And unlike certain other parade participants, Luffy achieved his physique the natural way. (We’re onto you, Jolly Green Giant!)
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