'Love Is Blind' : 5 Behind-the-Scenes Secrets from Show Creator Chris Coelen (Exclusive)

From what actually happens at the weddings after a couple says no to what show moment left him feeling like "all the oxygen in the room was sucked out," Coelen takes PEOPLE inside the Netflix hit

Love Is Blind season 4 may have just wrapped, but there's still some more tea to be spilled!

PEOPLE spoke with Love Is Blind creator and executive producer Chris Coelen ahead of the Netflix show's live reunion, which brought in an estimated 6.5 million viewers, about everything that went down — both on and off camera — during season 4.

Coelen had plenty to say about the experience and wasn't afraid to answer some of fans' burning questions about the series as a whole, including what actually happens at the weddings when a couple says no, how he responds to the cast asking him what to do (ahem, Matt Barnett from season 1!) and what Love Is Blind moment left him feeling like "all the oxygen in the room was sucked out."

Below are five of Coelen's behind-the-scenes stories from the world of Love Is Blind.

What Goes into Casting Love Is Blind

Before fans got to meet the cast on screen, Coelen says there was an extensive casting process that producers have carried out since day 1 of the series.

"We have a really large advanced casting team led by Donna Driscoll.... They try to reach out to make the pool of possible participants as big as they possibly can be and then from there, there's a series of conversations and background checks and psychological evaluations and many, many hours of filling out questionnaires and trying to examine desires and wants and goals," he explains. "They try to put as broad a group of people together as they possibly can, whittling it down over time, to then bring into the pods a broadly diverse, in every sense of that word, group of people that we feel, hopefully, share some compatibility."

"We have no idea what's going to happen, but the compatibility starts with things like [if] they state that they have a genuine interest in being married, they state that they have a desire to spend their life with somebody — and it feels to our team like that's genuine," he continues. "I think there's a huge degree of skepticism from the participants when they come in about whether they are really going to meet somebody. Are they really going to fall for somebody in this short timespan? Is it really possible? I think everybody who comes into this experiment feels that way."

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Once the cast is confirmed, the producers remain hands-off, allowing the cast to take control of their love journeys. The ones that seem "authentic" tend to be the ones that Coelen and producers then follow on the series.

And it's happened more than once that some couples get engaged and leave with a fiancé without viewers ever even seeing their story play out.

"Everyone knows that coming in from the very beginning that some of them won't ever feature on the show at all. They just won't. Even their face won't even be shown," he explains. "In season 4, we had eight engagements and we followed five.... We're looking to tell the most genuine, most authentic stories that we can and that's really the criteria by which we judge what stories we're going to follow."

How Coelen Bonds with the Cast — and What Interaction from Season 1 He Now Uses as a Cautionary Tale

Though Coelen is busy overseeing the Netflix series, he still finds time to develop relationships with the cast.

"I talk to the cast myself ... usually at the beginning of every day and at the end of every day," he explains. "When people leave the pods, if people aren't successful at finding a connection or if people decide they want to bow out of the process at any point, I will have individual conversations with them and talk to them."

But that doesn't mean he'll be telling any of the hopefuls what to do in their love lives.

"In terms of advice, we encourage people to address the things in their lives that they feel are most relevant to address before they make the decision to get married or not," he says. "But if somebody comes to us and says, 'What should I do here? Who should I choose?' — and we've had that on occasion — we don't ever give them advice, ever. We always say, it's up to you. It is your choice."

He continues, "I remember a story that I tell the cast. In season 1, Matt Barnett, who's still married to Amber [Pike Barnett] today, was at the very end of the period in the pods and was really torn about what he was going to do. I think he was leaning, obviously, to making the choice to get engaged to Amber [instead of Lauren "LC" Chamblin], but he was torn. And because he took it really seriously — he's a guy I think has taken it as seriously as anyone that's ever been through the experiment — he said, 'What should I do?'"

Related:Love Is Blind's Amber Pike and Matt Barnett Celebrate 4th Wedding Anniversary

Coelen reiterates that he told Barnett the decision is "up to you" (and notes he ultimately "made the right choice"), but the EP recalls thinking about what he would personally do.

"In the back of my mind — and this is not a secret — I was like, 'Gosh, I would choose LC,'" Coelen admits. "I say that loving Amber, and I am so grateful to Amber being through the process, but if it was me in that moment, I'm like, 'I would choose LC.' But I never said that to him."

"And thank God I didn't say it to him because he and Amber ended up together. They have an amazing relationship. They're amazing together. I'm thrilled for them," he adds. "And if I had actually given him advice, maybe it would've influenced him, maybe it wouldn't have, but it would've been the wrong advice. He did the right thing for him. And that has been our guiding principle.... I tell that story to every single cast that comes in. We want you to work out what the right decisions are for you."

What Really Happens at the Weddings After People Say "I Don't"

As fans know, each couple who makes it to the altar gets a wedding day of their dreams — complete with decor, food and entertainment. Family and friends also gather to see if their loved one will tie the knot.

But when the answer at the altar is no, how do the guests respond?

"Obviously when people do get married, they have a big party, like you do at a wedding reception," Coelen shares. "For the people who don't, generally people are not in the mood for a party. Shake [Chatterjee, from season 2] is the exception to that [when he said], 'Let's party!'"

"Outside of that ... when a breakup happens, generally people are not in the mood for 'Let's have a big party together,' so people just leave. That's what happens," he continues. "They don't [stay to eat]. I mean, sometimes you find people go and they graze a little bit and then they get in their cars and leave, but generally it's not a big happy celebration at that point. They're like, 'Oh my God, we've got to [leave] ... let's go home.'"

Related:Love Is Blind Couples: Where Are They Now?

Coelen on Making Altar Guesses — and What Moment Left Him Feeling Like 'All the Oxygen in the Room Was Sucked Out'

After four seasons under his belt, fans would think Coelen always makes predictions before the big wedding days. But he shuts down that idea, noting that "at this point, I try not to guess."

He shares, "I'll personally go and talk to each of them on their wedding day. And I very consciously don't ask them, 'So what are you thinking? What are you going to do?' It's just really, 'Thank you for participating. I want you to know that I want you to make the right decision for you.'"

Still, he acknowledges, "I get surprised very frequently about what happens. So yeah, is it fun to think, 'Oh my gosh, I think these two are going to make it?' Like I thought SK [Alagbada] and Raven [Ross], they're going to say I do [in season 3]. I think everyone on the production thought he was going to say yes," he recalls. "And when SK said no, the entire production team — we watch in a little sort of control room — all the oxygen in the room was sucked out."

"Everybody just gasped, like audibly gasped like, 'What is happening here?' It was completely unexpected," he adds.

Related:Love Is Blind's Raven Is Ready for 'Chapter 2' After Ending It with 'Voldemort' Ex: 'Who Needs It?'

Will There Ever Be a Wedding Answer Changeup?

Given how season 4's Micah Lussier allowed Paul Peden to answer first at the altar, and so many other cast members never got a chance to reveal their answers before their partner said no, PEOPLE asked if there's a world in which the show's format allows for the stars to reveal their answers at the same time without compromising the integrity of the weddings.

"I'm always open to that," says Coelen, emphasizing that the show's producers ultimately "want it to be organic."

But, Coelen notes that there are some cases where submitting an answer ahead of time wouldn't necessarily line up with what the cast member was feeling in the moment of their wedding.

"I think about Jessica [Batten] and Mark [Cuevas] in season one. And Jessica, in the romantic getaway she's like, 'There's no way I'm going to marry this guy. How can we do it? I can't. It's never going to happen,' even though at the reveal, she's like, 'This is the most amazing guy ever and this is my soul mate,'" he recalls.

"It really flip-flopped very quickly for her," he continues. "She, to her credit, stuck with it and decided she's going to see the experiment through and I think proceeded to try to find people who would validate her feelings about her misgivings about the relationship with Mark. And she didn't find a single person who shared her doubts or reinforced her doubts. Everybody said, 'No, this is incredible for you and you should do it.' And ultimately she came around to that and her relationship with Mark blossomed... I think on that [wedding] day we actually thought that she was going to say yes because she had said something to the effect of, 'If I wear a wedding dress, I'm going to say yes. I feel misgivings about wearing wedding dress.'"

Related:Love Is Blind's Mark Cuevas Says 'a Myriad of Reasons' Led to Him Not Joining the Reunion Special

However, as fans know, Jessica ultimately said no to Mark.

"Of course she did wear a wedding dress, and Mark felt like she was going to say yes," Coelen shares. "And when they got to the altar, I think she literally made the decision in that moment seeing him say, 'I do.' I feel like her life flashed before her eyes and she made the right decision for her.... I'm glad that she made that decision and it ended up well for her and she's found her person, ultimately, and Mark as well."

He adds, "The entirety of that process, I think if she had not gone through that and submitted an answer or let him know what she was going to do in the beginning, I don't think she would've given herself all of the information that she personally [needed]. People are different. Some people need all of it. Some people, like Matt [Bolton] and Colleen [Reed] [from season 3], they speak about that. On the day of their wedding, they were not going to decide until they get up there."

RELATED VIDEO: Netflix Apologizes for 75-Minute Love Is Blind Season 4 Reunion Delay: 'We Are Incredibly Sorry'

All in all, Coelen believes season 4 is the best one yet for the Netflix hit.

"I love this season," he says. "It's my favorite season ever ... I love all of the participants who took part in the experiment. I obviously loved all of the prior seasons as well [but] I just think that this group of people who took part in this season are phenomenal in the ways that they really leaned in to the experiment and genuinely wanted to find real long-lasting love and they put themselves out there in an amazing way, which I think ultimately benefits them in their lives and is obviously incredibly compelling to watch for all of us."

Related:Love Is Blind Season 4 Finale: Who Got Married and Who Said 'I Don't'

Coelen also credits the season's "unpredictability of what people are going to do and the fact that [it] went in so many unanticipated directions" as reasons behind his perspective.

"Sometimes people will say, 'Oh, the producers are trying to make mean girls or make [the cast do something]. And actually no, that's actually not it at all. I love that people think that, but actually we just work with whatever they give us," he says. "It wasn't like, this is the season where we want somebody to put in eyedrops and pretend to cry. [Andrew from season 3] just did that... We put up the machinery, they do whatever they do."

"And we then follow what happens. That's literally it," he adds. "And it's so fascinating to see the way that people wind their way through this, and I love it. Yes, so this is 100% my favorite season."

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Love Is Blind season 4 is now streaming in full on Netflix.

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