‘Loren and Rose’ Review: Jacqueline Bisset Still Shines in Aimless, Entitled Ode to Aging Starlets
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There’s no doubt that Jacqueline Bisset is a screen icon, but do we really need yet another meta commentary on the pitfalls of Hollywood with a lauded star as its only anchor? Bisset stars in “Loren and Rose,” written and directed by Russell Brown, and hitting select theaters after an extended tour of regional American film festivals. The drama follows aging starlet Rose (Bisset) who is looking to revive her career and takes multiple meetings with up-and-coming filmmaker Loren (Kelly Blatz) as he is casting his big break feature.
Within a few minutes of extreme exposition, Loren narrates that Rose’s most iconic role was playing a white nun who falls in love with a Black priest. Yet, Rose is best known to the public for playing the lead in pulpy sci-fi franchise “Mega Gators Mom.” Rose’s celebrity status, no matter which film of hers you love best, has been dimmed after a humiliating public divorce and failed custody battle over her daughter, which made the tabloids go wild. (Again, we are told this, and have no glimpse into Rose during this era.)
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Then she joined a cult whose leader was arrested for embezzlement. Then Rose self-published a “manifesto” about the treatment of aging actresses in Hollywood who were deemed “difficult” and “unpredictable” after being out-spoken. And then her path finally crosses with Loren, whose autobiographical short film about his mother dying sets up the crux of the dynamic with Rose after they meet for a series of meals to chat about working together.
“Loren and Rose” is itself paced as something akin to a three-course dinner, starting with a cutesy title card for an appetizer, or essentially how Rose’s charisma whets the palate of Loren’s intrigue. “Loren and Rose” is “My Dinner with André” by way of “Love’s Kitchen” and is shot like a TV movie, with a script on par with its lacking production design.
Bisset’s own star power is impossible to shake even as she spews nonsense like, “Duck is the one animal I can’t eat, because I made a film with one. He was the most gentle co-star.” Rose imparts wisdom upon Loren, warning him that he is “too young to be jaded” when it comes to love — and even his career. Bisset shares her signature charm onscreen, which sadly is wasted in a lackluster film that seems destined to keep its audience wondering, “What is the point?”
“Loren and Rose” spends its entirety bemoaning how much better cinema used to be, in the era of Truffaut and Wilde. There is no “Sunset Boulevard”-esque revelation by Rose or anger toward her lot in life. There’s not even a deeper truth shared about the treatment of women in a predatory and imbalanced industry. Instead, Rose is perfectly fine just slipping away into the enigma of her own celebrity, and by the end, we’re left wondering if Loren — or us — even really knew her at all.
“It’s what made her great,” Loren narrates, “but it’s what also made her a mystery.” The real mystery? Why this film was made in the first place, even with the brightest of stars on hand to help guide it.
Rating: D
“Loren and Rose” will be released in select theaters on Friday, June 23 in New York, Arizona, and Louisiana. Outside of these states, for a one-week period, viewers can purchase passes to stream the film at lorenandrose.com.
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