“Little House on the Prairie” Star Melissa Gilbert on 'Half Pint' Hitting Menopause — and Why It's a 'Gift' to Grow Old (Exclusive)

At 59, the actress, married for 10 years to actor Timothy Busfield, has launched Modern Prairie, her lifestyle brand for older women: "It's time we celebrate aging'

Melissa Gilbert has learned that time — and age — changes your perspective.

More than a decade ago when the Little House on the Prairie star was 47 and competing on Dancing with the Stars, she remembers being obsessed by the "need to stay young" — and she would measure her success by a number on the scale.

One of her proudest moments on the show came when she had lost so much weight that she was able to fit into a costume worn by DWTS pro Peta Murgatroyd, who’s more than 20 years her junior, “I was so excited,” she says.

Sitting in the kitchen of her upstate New York cabin one recent autumn morning, her graying hair pulled into a bun, Gilbert ponders that age-obsessed version of herself. “It’s an odd thing to be proud of,” she says. “Now what I’m most proud of is learning how to quilt! That’s how life has changed. That’s life approaching 60.”

Beginning at the age of 9 in 1974 as "Half Pint" Laura Ingalls Wilder on the iconic TV series Little House on the Prairie, Gilbert grew up in front of fans over the nine seasons the show was on the air. And she remained in the spotlight as a fixture in the ’80s young Hollywood scene, dating other stars like Rob Lowe and Billy Idol.

Now 59 and married to fellow actor Timothy Busfield (who starred on Thirtysomething and The West Wing), Gilbert has started her own lifestyle brand for older women called Modern Prairie and says she no longer yearns for her younger years. “Aging is not a disease. It’s time we celebrate it,” she says. “I think it’s so amazing that I get to grow old.”

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When Little House and its spinoff series ended, Gilbert, who had been nominated for a Golden Globe for her work on the show and an Emmy for playing Helen Keller in a 1979 adaptation of The Miracle Worker, was just 19 years old. Figuring out where Laura Ingalls Wilder ended and she began was a challenge. “As a kid actor I twisted myself into being what anybody wanted me to be at any given time,” she says. “And that created a lot of mental and emotional anguish for me. I never really allowed myself to be my authentic self."

Gilbert went on to star in several TV films and on the short-lived NBC show Sweet Justice (opposite Cicely Tyson), and was elected Screen Actors Guild president in 2001, but by the time she appeared on DWTS, "I was approaching 50 and there was this panic of, 'This is it. I've got to wring this out while I can.'"

That led to a series of "bad choices," including cosmetic procedures she came to regret: "It’s exhausting keeping up that kind of façade," she says. "I was very insecure."

She remembers being shocked by a photo of herself from a red carpet event at the time: “I literally looked like Carrot Top the comedian — my hair was too red, and when I did Botox, I became the spawn of Satan with pointy eye-brows. I had no facial expression, which is anathema considering what I do for a living.”

It sparked a turning point for Gilbert, who would soon connect with Busfield, 66. Buoyed by his support, she decided to stop fighting the signs of aging. “I embraced it," she says. "And when I would say, ‘I think I’m going to stop coloring my hair,’ he’d say, ‘Can’t wait to see what color it is. This is so exciting!’ When I said, ‘I think I want to get my breast implants taken out permanently,’ he said, ‘Do it!’” she says. “It’s incredibly uplifting to be with someone who says, ‘I love you exactly the way you are.’ ”

The two married in 2013. "It makes a big difference to come home to someone who sees me in sweats with no makeup on and my hair back in a ponytail and goes, 'Oh, you are the most beautiful woman,'" she says. "As opposed to someone who goes, 'I think you could lose a little weight.' Or, ' I'm getting nervous about these lines around your eyes.' Which did happen in my past."

These days, "I don't color my hair anymore. I don't put any fillers or Botox in my face. I take care of myself to the best of my ability, but I am what I am," she says. "I am not going sacrifice my own well-being because someone expects me to be something they have in their mind."

Related: 'Little House on the Prairie' Star Melissa Gilbert on Embracing Her Gray Hair: 'I Love It'

The beginning of her relationship with Busfield also marked the start of another new phase for Gilbert. “Menopause has been a part of our marriage from jump, basically,” she says. “So our conversations are very open and very honest about it. He knows everything that’s going on, and he’s so reassuring.”

For fans of Little House, which will celebrate its 50th anniversary next year, it can be hard to accept that "Half Pint" has hit menopause. "There are people who will perennially assume that I'm 12 years old," she says. "And I will always be that girl, full of wonder and running through the fields. Half Pint is inside me always. But we are all aging."

Related: Melissa Gilbert Honors 'Pa' Michael Landon on 31st Anniversary of His Death: 'I Am Aching for Him'

And, she says, "having the fan base with me as we age together is a huge plus. We can share these conversations together."

Now that she's on the other side of menopause, Gilbert is on a mission to reach out to those other older women. A year ago she started Modern Prairie, a lifestyle brand she cofounded with retail and merchandising expert Nicole Haase that she envisions as a "space where women can connect." The brand offers clothing and home goods inspired by the Little House ethos of “love, community and family,” made by women-owned or women-run businesses.

"The retail industry has underestimated women our age— and our ability and desire to spend,” says Gilbert. "There was very little space for aging woman. We were either marginalized as a spaced-out old lady or as a cranky old woman you want to avoid. There's clearly so much more to us than that."

Until recently, products marketed to older women "all had 'anti-aging' on them," Gilbert says. "There's no such thing! It's derogatory and demeaning. The idea that we're trying to teach people to be afraid of aging is a mistake. Aging is a gift. I like to say I'm aging gratefully."

Modern Prairie has also launched an app. "Women need to know they're not alone," she says of wanting to create a Modern Prairie community. "There's always someone there to help us through, to walk ahead of us, to walk behind us, to hold us up if need be."

Gilbert says she's on the app every day. "I’m watching these women support each other as they go through all these extraordinary changes," she says. "Women gather to talk about empty-nest syndrome or grief or how to embroider or make the perfect pie crust."

Despite her new venture and her determination to embrace aging, she admits there are still moments when she’ll notice her reflection in a window and think, “Oh God, you’ve gained weight.” But she takes a practical approach: “How do I make myself feel better? I stop looking in the window at my reflection.”

And she focuses on real life on the 14-acre farm she shares with Busfield. "We just love doing our silly little chores together, like cleaning out the chicken coop, and making sure they have their treats, and playing with the dogs," she says. "We play a lot of backgammon. We cook together. And really, we just like to sit next to each other in a room no matter where we are. We just really enjoy being together."

She also delights in the “heavenly” role of grandma to the eight grandchildren the couple share (Gilbert has two sons from two previous marriages). "I wouldn't want to be younger," she says. "I wouldn't want to have to learn these lessons again. I like where I am. Happy in my skin, happy in my life."

Gilbert knows there are contemporaries in Hollywood “who are still a size 2 or a 0, but that’s not what my life is right now. It’s attainable, but it’s fleeting. You have to keep it up. I did that in my 20s, and I don’t have the wherewithal to do it anymore,” she says. “If that’s what you want to do with your time, great. I'd rather get down in a sandbox and play with my grandchildren."

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