How I Learned to Stop Complaining and Fully Embrace the Meatless Meat Revolution
Labor Day is for meat. That's just the rules. As the summer draws to a close, there's a good chance you'll encounter a cookout or two over the long weekend. Maybe you'll have your own. Here's the challenge: What if you tried to serve something at said cookout for a vegan (that wasn't a sad salad)? Crazier challenge, and stay with me: What if you ate it, too?
I get it. Whatever happened to that world where you could rest assured that the burger you were biting into was once an animal that a child had once petted? Times are changing! This week, KFC introduced Beyond fried non-chicken. Burger King and TGI Fridays are serving plant-based burger alternatives. Leonardo DiCaprio is all in on plant-based meat, and that man fought a bear for an Academy Award! Life moves so quickly, and thus, you have to be a food chameleon in these times. But in reality, there's a good reason for this shift.
The big takeaway is that the environment could really use the break. Most fake meat manufacturers report that producing meatless meat uses less water and land than meat production. And while the rainforests are burning, partly in pursuit of creating more pastureland for meat farmers, you could pitch in and do something sustainable every once in a while. The meatless trend isn't going away—it's getting bigger and better.
But beyond the moral spiel, I wanted to understand this meatless revolution, so I tried three different meatless products. I'm going to be honest: I've single-handedly killed at least three million chickens throughout my lifetime on wing consumption alone, and yet, I'm not mad about these products (anymore). The first, and obvious, challenge for me and any meat enthusiast was simply caring enough to even taste meatless options.
My general finding here is that when meatless meat is presented to you, the ultimate path to success is to remember that you're not actually eating meat. Too many people bite into a plant-based burger and think, "Why does this not taste like a cow?!" And the answer to that is: You're not eating a cow. But through a mixture of scientific manipulation, seasoning, and perhaps a dash of witchcraft, a few companies have managed to replicate a meat-like essence, and that's a step in the right direction. So meat-eater to meat-eater, is meatless meat a legitimate option for people who love the raw, savage nature of eating cows? That's what I set out to discover.
Beyond Meat's "Burgers"
In the list of meatless meat manufacturers, Beyond Meat was the company that I had heard about most often outside of the Impossible Burger, which currently isn't available in grocery stores, although Impossible Foods is planning to introduce it by year's end. I decided to let Beyond Burger be the official burger representative for this study. The burgers come with the added benefit of being soy- and gluten-free, as well as packing in a hefty amount of protein. Taste-wise? This is the closest to the actual taste and feel of beef that you can find for your own cooking purposes. The Beyond Burger has upped its game in the past year, with a patty that gets a pretty decent char on the outside while remaining moist on the inside. I legitimately forgot that I wasn't eating beef.
Pure Farmland's "Meatballs"
When I got the package of Pure Farmland meatballs, I immediately knew I wanted to drench them in marinara and cheese, which felt a bit counterproductive for vegans. But I kept one aside for editorial purposes. What I found in that singular meatball is that Pure Farmland has the art of seasoning its product like actual meat down to a science. In fact, that meatball tasted so familiar that I felt like I had eaten it before—turns out, Smithfield (yes, that Smithfield) is the parent company behind Pure Farmland, and I swear you can taste its signature flavor within the (not) meat. If you're looking for a product that is prepared and treated the same way actual meat is treated, this is the ticket.
Before the Butcher's "Turkey Burger"
This one was going to be an uphill battle from the start, because I wouldn't call myself the biggest turkey burger fan to begin with. With that being said, Before the Butcher manages to turn out a decent re-creation. Launching in grocery stores soon, Before the Butcher is a bit less meaty than some of its burger counterparts, but it really does manage to capture that recognizable turkey flavor. Much like Beyond Burger, Before the Butcher will continue to refine its product, but it's already planning a wide array of meatless alternatives, from turkey to beef to chicken.
So, again, would I say that meat alternatives are dead ringers for meat? Not particularly. They're a close bet, but they're not all the way there. But that's not what you're signing up for. You can expand your palate and decrease your carbon footprint by cutting a couple burgers a month and replacing them with a meat alternative. And I promise, by the time you're done, you may even have a couple bites where you forget that burger isn't actually a cow.
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