Lauren London Reveals How Advice from Diddy Helped Her Get Through Nipsey Hussle's Funeral

Actress Lauren London is opening up about life after loss and the little things — including a pep talk from Sean "Diddy" Combs — that have helped her get through following the death of her longtime partner Nipsey Hussle in 2019.

The Game actress, 37, appeared on the Angie Martinez IRL iHeartRadio podcast Wednesday in a wide-ranging interview that chronicled her "up and down" healing experience as well as that of her two young children.

"I thought Hussle was Superman, he would live forever," she said of the rapper, who was fatally shot in Los Angeles at age 33. "I thought I was gonna go first. I would always ask questions like, 'What are you gonna do when I die?' I was always so morbid."

Though London said that giving birth to her son Kameron, 12, whom she shares with ex Lil Wayne, helped expel the morbid thoughts, nothing prepared her for the range of emotions that came with losing Hussle so suddenly.

Allen Berezovsky/Getty Lauren London and Nipsey Hussle

"At first you're in shock, and then there's a lot of attention and love around you," she recalled. "And then people get back to their lives. And now you're like, 'Well how do I get back to my life when it's shifted so much? And then what does life look like for me now?'"

The model told Martinez that she's proud of how far she's come in her healing process, as there were times she was unable to shower, and feared she'd never laugh again.

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During the most difficult of times, when London admitted that she felt like giving up, she didn't hide her feelings from Kameron and his brother Kross, 5, whom London shared with Hussle (born Ermias Joseph Asghedom). The star said that to help them process their own emotions, she brought them to therapy and to spiritual retreats with her.

"I feel like my kids deserve happiness, my kids deserve a very happy mom. They deserve joy. Why would I rob them of that?" she said. "[But] it was real, and I was very honest with them. This is life. I'm not gonna pretend this doesn't exist. This is sadness. I think it's just a choice in parenting. I'm very transparent with my kids. I don't want them to have a false reality of life. I want them to be strapped up and ready to go."

Unique Nicole/Getty Nipsey Hussle and Lauren London

She continued: "I say the words 'transitioned,' and I always say that Daddy is everywhere, he feels us, we feel him. Anytime there's something you want to say, you might not hear him, but you'll feel it. And follow that guidance, and write letters and talk to him and stuff like that."

Though London said she's in a better place now, she also reflected on Hussle's funeral, and revealed that the only reason she was able to pull herself together was thanks to a pep talk from Diddy.

RELATED: Man Convicted of 1st-Degree Murder in Nipsey Hussle's 2019 Fatal Shooting

"I just felt like it was surreal…I didn't even want to get dressed. I was gonna wear sweats," she said. "Puff pulled me aside and was like, 'Look Boog. You have shown everybody what it looks like to hold a man down and to love him. Now show them what it looks like when it all crumbles. That's your responsibility.' … He was like, 'Show up with your head up.'"

Moving forward, London said that she's no longer focused on relationships, and would much rather put her energy toward her relationship with God.

"I am not without pure love. I might not ever be married, but I experienced pure love with Nip. I got that. I got to see that on earth. I don't need to do that again," she said. "I like to feel enlightenment with God now. Like I said, I don't know what I'm 50, 60, 70. But 37? I'm good. I don't want it."

London's podcast appearance comes days after Eric Holder, 32, was found guilty of first-degree murder in Hussle's death by a Los Angeles jury.

Holder was also convicted of attempted voluntary manslaughter, as two bystanders were injured in the gunfire.