Lauren Graham Says Writing Was a Good Distraction After Her 'Sad' Split from Peter Krause

Amanda Friedman

Lauren Graham definitely has more to say.

The actress, producer and writer — whose charm and quick wit have resulted in three New York Times bestsellers — is releasing another collection of essays about her life and career, Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don't Want to Forget to Remember, available Nov. 15.

Graham, 55, first started putting the book together "deep" into the COVID pandemic.

"I was waiting to hear and waiting to hear [about work], which I'm now writing down as another essay title because that is so much a part of an actor's life," the actress exclusively tells PEOPLE in this week's issue. "And it was everybody's life, of course, during that time. But I knew I would be more sane if I had something I was working on."

Writing also became a good distraction for Graham when her almost 12-year relationship with actor Peter Krause, whom she began dating after the two costarred as siblings on Parenthood, ended during the summer of 2021.

"I knew I was resilient because I just always have been," she says. "You take your knocks and don't complain. That's how I was always raised."

"Somewhere in that is a year like this where I just was not going to let [the breakup] flatten me," she continues. "I was like, 'Okay, well, look at all the good stuff I have, and look at all the good times,' and 'I'm going to write this book.' Thank goodness I have these outlets and these stories to tell."

Kevin Winter/Getty

RELATED: Lauren Graham and Peter Krause Break Up After More Than a Decade Together

Though they lived together and Graham helped raise the actor's now-20-year-old son Roman from a previous relationship, the two preferred to keep the romance out of the spotlight.

"I think part of all the positives of having known each other for a really long time were there," she says. "And one of the negatives of that is we almost came into a relationship as people in their 40s without asking any of the questions people in their 40s should be asking. We had such a good time together that I didn't maybe ask some fundamental questions about 'What are your values and what do you envision?' and those more grown-up things. And then they just caught up with us."

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After the split, Graham rented a beach home and then returned to L.A. to focus on her work.

"I'm less on the run," says the actress, acknowledging that the passing of time has been the greatest gift. "Any pain still really has its moments. I was a contributor in the life of his child, and so we're connected. And yes, I'm in a better place, but it's still just a shame. It's just sad to me."

Amanda Friedman

RELATED: Lauren Graham Has a 'Gilmore Girls Clause' in All of Her Contracts in Case of Another Revival

As for the future, Graham is open to finding love again; just don't look for her on any dating apps anytime soon. "You don't get the sense really of what your actual chemistry is," she says. "You're just getting what game they're playing or what method they use. It's just not the full picture."

Her must-haves for personality traits? "Kindness and a sense of humor. At this point, I'm all about having a good time," says Graham, who's currently co-executive producing and starring in the Disney+ series The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers.

"I'm in a rare position where I'm so thankful and I don't even know what else I would want. I got more than I ever thought," she adds. "So now it becomes, how can I be a good citizen of the world and enjoy life? And who's going to be the fun person to do that with?"

For more of Graham's exclusive interview, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.

Already working on her next book, a novel — "I'm trying to do a Bridget Jones-y thing set in Los Angeles" — Graham is all about finding pleasure in life's little moments.

"I love a hot shower. I really love drinking tea and pretending I'm in the cast of The Crown. I have finally found pillows that I like," she adds. "I don't know, I'm in a time of just enjoyment."

Have I Told You This Already? Stories I Don't Want to Forget to Remember hits bookstores Nov. 15.