Rep. Lauren Boebert

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert has issued an apology to the American people this weekend, expressing her clear, sincere, and obvious regret at the fact that theaters doing a Denver production of the Beetlejuice musical have such high-quality night-vision cameras these days.

Okay, so, technically Boebert actually issued her apology in response to a week-long theatrical scandal that has not gotten less embarrassing as time has gone on—starting with her denying that she got kicked out of a Denver production of the Tony-nominated musical for vaping, and then progressing as surveillance footage from the Buell Theater leaked out showing her not just doing that, but also taking flash photography, flipping off theater employees, and getting sexually intimate with her date in the midst of the crowded auditorium.

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