Lauren Alaina 'Lost Who I Was Completely' Battling Bulimia While Competing on 'American Idol' as a Teen
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The 'Getting Over Him' singer is feeling ‘happy and healthy’ after battling eating disorders for years
Lauren Alaina is no stranger to speaking up about body positivity.
The country singer, 28, who has been open with issues regarding her weight and eating habits for years, now uses her voice to help others. On Wednesday, she continued to do so on the latest episode of former Bachelorette star Hannah Brown's Better Tomorrow podcast.
“I started having problems with [an] eating disorder in middle school and then in tenth grade, I go on American Idol,” Alaina admitted. “And I was in my very awkward, chubby phase.”
As the conversation continued, the “Don’t Judge a Woman” singer revealed her “biggest criticism” at the time came from high school girls. It only intensified once she appeared on “national television.”
When thinking back on her rise to fame, Alaina revealed, “I was always confident on the stage; the one thing I wasn’t confident [about] was my weight, probably my whole life.”
The two collided as Alaina became a contestant on season 10 of the hit singing competition series. During her 2011 run on American Idol, she received an overwhelming amount of backlash about her body as she was shifting “between a teenager and a woman.”
“People commented a lot on my weight… What kind of evil humans can comment on a 16-year-old child is beyond me now. But as that 16-year-old child, it got very bad for a while,” Alaina recalled. “I suffered with such a severe eating disorder in those years where nothing was connecting. It wasn’t only because [I needed] to work hard, I lost who I was completely. Everything - my light... it was dimmed quite a bit because of the TV aspect.”
At one point, she recalled an outlet adding a fake “pig nose” to her face and calling her “Miss Piggy.” During that time, she thought being selected as the TV show’s fan favorite would boost her esteem, but the negative commentary chipped away at her. “It was an extreme high and an extreme low and I got sick… I struggled very, very bad with bulimia for a very long time,” the Georgia native shared.
Alaina noted that her 2019 appearance on Dancing With the Stars helped her to “start going to therapy for it again” since she would be back in the public eye. For now, as long as she’s on the road, interacting with fans and releasing music, she feels “happy and healthy.” The “Doin’ Fine” singer revealed that “things are very positive” for her right now.
In a January 2017 interview with The Tennessean, the singer said she intended to be someone others who might be struggling with similar issues could look to for inspiration. “I want to be the girl who has a positive influence on people’s lifestyle. I don’t want to be the girl who has an eating disorder and that’s why she looks the way she does.”
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Alaina spoke with the newspaper ahead of her second full-length album, Road Less Traveled. She used the project’s title track to highlight the issues that plagued her since a teen. “Why do you keep on staring?" she sings. "That mirror, mirror, it ain’t fair at all. Dress sizes can’t define. Don’t let the world decide what’s beautiful. Show what you got and just own it. No, they can’t tear you apart.”
“There are so many people who have eating disorders or who body shame themselves every day or have some sort of insecurity, and I feel like I have a direct reach to some of those people,” Alaina exclusively told PEOPLE in February 2017. She also admitted what life-changing revelation made her realize it was time to seek professional help. “I had really bad polyps on my vocal cords, and I’ve had them since I was a kid, but the bulimia made it 10 times worse. They were bleeding constantly and it was straining on my voice. And just the lack of nutrition — my vocal cords couldn’t keep up because I was so unhealthy.”
Not correcting the issue could have been the end of her career as a country singer. “That was the first time it clicked for me,” Alaina confessed. “It wasn’t my hair falling out, it wasn’t my bones sticking out too much — it was my voice. When they told me that my voice was going to go away, that really got to me. Had I not gotten better, I may not have this album now, I may not have this music. I can’t even imagine. I don’t know what I would do.”
If you or someone you know is battling an eating disorder, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) at 1-800-931-2237 or go to NationalEatingDisorders.org.
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