Lady Gaga has sobriety on her mind.
The pop star, 34, opened up about the making of her new album Chromatica, due out on May 29, during a candid chat with Zane Lowe on Apple Music on Thursday. While reflecting on a song called "911," which Gaga said is "about an antipsychotic that I take," she revealed that she actually "flirted with the idea of sobriety" while recording the highly anticipated record.
"I don't take any pain medication, because it's not healthy for me. But I've flirted with the idea of sobriety. I'm not there yet, but I flirted with it throughout the album," she shared. "It's something that came up as a result of me trying to work through the pain that I was feeling."
"But part of my healing process was going, 'Well, I can either lash the hell out of myself every day for continuing to drink, or I can just be happy that I'm still alive and keep going,' and feel good enough," Gaga continued. "I am good enough. It's not perfect, but wabi-sabi. I'm perfectly imperfect.'"
Though Gaga did not completely commit to the idea of getting sober, she did quit smoking following Chromatica's recording.
"I quit smoking," she said. "I smoked the whole way through making this record. And when we were done, I stopped. It was the most bizarre, beautiful thing that could have happened, that this music actually healed me."
During the interview, the "Stupid Love" singer also spoke about fighting her inner demons and moving past trauma.
"I think I forgive myself. I forgive myself for all the ways I've punished myself in private," she said, explaining how she hopes to help people by being transparent about her struggles with mental health.
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"I've been open about the fact that I used to cut. And I've open about the fact that I have had masochistic tendencies that are not healthy. And they're ways of expressing shame. They're ways of expressing feeling not good enough, but actually they're not effective. They just make you feel worse."
Emphasizing that she doesn't want to "glamorize" self-harm, Gaga said, "The harder thing to do is to ask for help and to tell someone."
"I forgave myself because I decided that I was human and that made me feel better," she added.
"She was so persistent. She would try over and over again to be friends with me," she said of Grande's attempts to strike up a friendship with her. "And I was too ashamed to hang out with her, because I didn't want to project all of this negativity onto something that was healing and so beautiful."
"Eventually, she called me on my s---. She was, 'You're hiding.' And I was, 'I am hiding. I'm totally hiding,' " Gaga continued. "And then this friendship blossomed."
The 11-time Grammy winner hopes that her new album will help connect more people together.
"If you're listening to this album and you're suffering in any type of way, just know that that suffering within itself is a sign of your humanity and you are not broken," she said. "You are connected to the whole world and we are one giant body. We are one full entity."
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.