For this L.A. based artist music, love, and queerness are inextricably linked
I grew up in a suburb of Indianapolis to two French parents. Despite growing up in a more conservative town, I was comfortable being myself, thanks to my parents' open-mindedness. I'm fortunate because there was never the need to "come out" or make a statement. But the one thing that did help me feel more comfortable being myself was music.
Music is a way for me to express myself. Without it, I don't know if I would be comfortable with my queerness. Artists like Clairo, girl in red, and Omar Apollo made me feel seen and confident in who I am. Thanks to them, I was inspired to write and make music that was entirely me. Writing and making music is now artistic therapy for me and lets me put everything I'm feeling down in a song.
I realize writing music about my queer experiences can help someone who's listening and going through similar experiences. There may be a young person out there who needs guidance and support, whether through heartbreak or falling in love, and my music can make them feel less alone! One of my biggest wishes when I release music is to help someone else feel seen or heard.
My latest musical journey tells of my first year living in Los Angeles. I kept going through a cycle of reoccurring romantic events, getting with the wrong people, getting my hopes up, hoping the outcomes would be different, and then getting let down again. The pattern was like running in circles. I started losing hope that anyone would ever be right for me.
Over time, I learned to set boundaries. Telling someone it's over, having to put my foot down, or letting them know they aren't welcome in my life "just because they're lonely." It's easier now than it was back then.
When it came to my relationships, the dating "rulebook" was occasionally thrown out the window, whether it was not being exclusive or wanting to put a label on who we were. I was ready to make those sacrifices and happy I was finally there! Although I made it to that point, others still needed the time to take that leap of faith. It's sad but I had to learn the hard way, like many other things.
Overall, dating in a city like LA was fun. It was important for me to go through that and it has made me the person I am today. I'm now in a relationship with someone. I feel fortunate. It's so funny how the timing of it all worked. It feels right to have happened right after this chapter of my life.
Listening to my latest music is so special because I hear my old self's thoughts, questions and worries. It can sometimes be challenging, but hearing the reflection and growth is beautiful.
Wherever you are in your journey of love, self-discovery, and discovery, you can find your own meanings and experiences. I hope you find a glimpse of hope through your ways of expression—fashion, art, dance, even music—and know that it always gets better, even when it's hard.
Eliza Grégoire (aka crêpe girl) is a French-American artist who recently released her new EP, STARGAZING, via Norwegian tastemaker label 777 Music.
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