This week’s “SNL” host, Kristen Stewart, did the now-standard thing for hosts in their opening monologues: made some jokes at Donald Trump’s expense.
But Stewart’s jokes were personal, bringing up some old tweets Trump had posted years ago about the romantic drama that occurred between Stewart and her “Twilight” co-star Robert Pattinson. Like this one, for example.
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012
You can watch the full monologue above. But if you don’t or can’t watch, Here’s the text of that juicy portion of Stewart’s monologue:
“I’m a little nervous to be hosting because I know the president’s probably watching. I don’t think he likes me that much,” Stewart said. “Here’s how I know: four years ago I was dating this guy named Rob. Robert. We broke up and then we got back together, and for some reason it made Donald Trump go insane.
“Here’s what he actually tweeted, and this is real: ‘Robert Pattinson should not date Kristen Stewart because she cheated on him like a dog and will do it again. Just watch. You can do so much better.’
“No, I know what you’re thinking. right? That’s so crazy, the president tweeted about you once. No, the president tweeted about me 11 times. He also said, ‘Everyone knows I’m right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple years he will thank me. Be smart, Robert.’
“Then one day later he tweeted: ‘Everyone’s asking me to speak more on Robert and Kristen and I don’t really have time except to say, Robert, drop her, she cheated on you and she’ll do it again.’
“Okay, to be fair, I don’t think Donald Trump hated me. I think he’s in love with my boyfriend. Because he also tweeted this: “Miss Universe 2012 Pageant will be airing live on NBC and Telemundo december 19th. open invite stands for Robert Pattinson.”
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 25, 2012
“So yeah, that is crazy. right? The president is not a huge fan of me. But that is so okay. And Donald, if you didn’t like me before, you’re really probably not going to like me now. Because I’m hosting ‘SNL’ and I’m like so gay, dude.”
At the very end of the monologue, Stewart accidentally dropped an f-bomb as she gave the obligatory hype statement about how awesome the show is going to be.
Trump has not yet tweeted a response to Stewart’s “SNL” monologue.
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