Please, indulge us in a moment of conspiracy.
After Kim Kardashian West revealed the name of her third child with Kanye West to be Chicago "Chi" West on Friday, most rational humans on Twitter made a quick joke and proceeded to go about their day. But one way-too-obsessive Kanye stan (the writer of this article) recalled a 2003 podcast interview with the rapper that may suggest an alternate theory -- for those who believe crazy things -- to the idea that the name of Kim and Kanye's third child was decided recently, as common sense might lead you to believe.
Let's take a brief dive into the Church of Yeezus and observe the signs that Chicago West was not only prophesied by the universe back in 2007, but that 2018 is right about the time when she would arrive.
Here's the evidence.
EXHIBIT A: "Homecoming" (2007)
Chris Martin, of Coldplay fame, lends the hook to this jam off of Kanye's Graduation album, which is essentially a love story between Kanye and his hometown, humanized as a girl he grew up with.
"I met this girl when I was three years old/ And what I loved most, she had so much soul..."
At the end of the song, Kanye reveals, for those who weren't already keyed in, that the person he was talking about the whole time was, in fact, "Chi-Town," aka Chicago.
"If you don't know by now, I'm talkin' 'bout Chi-Town."
*Note: Some will correctly point out that the girl in the song introduces herself to Kanye, saying, "My name is Windy and I like to blow trees." For now, let's just attribute that to the rapper's love of puns in his songwriting, and less in a literal way that completely dismantles this argument.
EXHIBIT B: Bret Easton Ellis Podcast Interview in 2003
Kanye has a number of times described himself as aging mostly in reverse, like a hip-hop version of Benjamin Button. Yeezy elaborates on this most clearly on the debut episode of The Bret Easton Ellis Podcast in late 2003, where Kanye gives a timeline of his aging process, which he describes as tied to his artistic abilities and trends (mostly) downward, with the exception of that infamous 2009 Video Music Awards incident with Taylor Swift.
"The better and better I get at what I do, the younger I am. Every day I'm getting younger," he explained. "When I made Graduation, I was six years old. When I made 808s, I jumped to five years old."
"Then, Taylor Swift thing happened, right? And I had to grow back up, and I delivered what could be considered my most perfected work," he continued. "I almost reached 10 years old when I did Dark Fantasy."
"Then, when I did Yeezus, I kinda got back to under five, like four-and-a-half. And now, I’m mentally, completely, three years old. By the time I’m 50, I’m gonna be one. And by the time I’m dead, I’m gonna be zero.”
Right now, Kanye is 40 in human years, having most recently released an album, that, while well received, is definitely not talked about as more perfected than Yeezus. This would make him about halfway to turning two in Kanyears.....
So because Kanye, whom we now know ages generally backward based on his art, it's not unheard of that said art would be able to foretell his future from past work. Given that, all of us who claim to be true Yeezy fans slept on something that should have been very, very clear to us since Graduation...
If we didn't know by now, he's talkin' 'bout Chi-Town.
Watch the video below for more levelheaded reporting on Kim and Kanye's new life with Chicago.