Kal Penn on How Asking a Hollywood Connection for Dating Advice Nearly Led Him to an Escort Service
"In retrospect, I'm very curious," said Penn about a list he was offered featuring apparent escorts
Long before Kal Penn met his fiancé Josh, the actor had an unusual experience when he first tried to dip a toe into the world of dating as a famous singleton.
The Harold & Kumar star, 45, said he came out to a manager and asked how "actors meet nice people to date" earlier in his career.
"'How do you know that somebody that you're dating wants to date you for you? What are the ground rules here, and is it any different?'" Penn recalled to Kelly Ripa on this week's episode of her Let's Talk Off Camera podcast. Asking if dating as a gay man in Hollywood would "impact anything in work," Penn then says the manager's response was swift — and very surprising.
His manager then set him up for lunch with a producer, who also happened to be gay, to discuss the dating scene for LGBTQ+ actors.
"He goes, 'Yeah, I mean, I'm just gonna email you a list just of some guys and their photos,'" said Penn. "And I'm like, 'Whoa, that's so cool! Playing matchmaker already.' And he goes, 'Yeah, and, you know, they're not that expensive, and they're never gonna say anything."
Penn quickly realized he'd been offered a hookup all right — but not the kind of organic connection he was seeking.
"I was like, 'Sorry, I think you don't understand. No disrespect to sex workers, but that's not what I'm looking for. My question to you is, how do I meet a nice guy, go on a couple of dates?' And he goes, 'I don't know anything about all that.'"
The former White House staffer clarified that he "told him not to" send the list of names. "I know! In retrospect, I'm very curious," Penn told Ripa, 52, who seemed just as intrigued.
Related:Kal Penn Wants a 'Gigantic Indian Wedding' — and Also to Protect His Husband-to-Be's Privacy
Penn came out in his 2021 memoir You Can't Be Serious while revealing his engagement to his partner of 11 years, whom he met while working for Barack Obama's administration.
"I've always been very public with everybody I've personally interacted with," he told PEOPLE at the time. "Whether it's somebody that I meet at a bar, if Josh and I are out or we're talking to friends.
"I'm really excited to share our relationship with readers," added Penn. "But Josh, my partner, my parents, and my brother, four people who I'm closest to in the family, are fairly quiet. They don't love attention and shy away from the limelight."
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