Justin Bieber Reflects on His 'Turbulent' Years with Addiction: 'People Don't Know How Scary It Got'

Justin Bieber is reflecting on his turbulent past in the fifth installment of his 10-part YouTube docuseries, Justin Bieber: Seasons.

Differing from the first four episodes of the web series where Bieber, 25, got candid about his new album and his romance with wife Hailey Baldwin, the latest installment — titled “The Dark Season,” now available on YouTube — finds the “Yummy” singer reflecting on his inner demons and opening up about his battle with addiction.

“It feels good to share, to be honest,” he states in this chapter of the series. “I don’t think I was ready or mature enough to even take responsibility and really mean it.”

Ahead of the docuseries’ debut on YouTube, Bieber posted an update to fans and critics alike on Instagram, sharing, “While a lot of people kept saying Justin Bieber looks like s—, on meth etc. they failed to realize I’ve been recently diagnosed with Lyme disease, not only that but had a serious case of chronic mono which affected my, skin, brain function, energy, and overall health.”

The fifth episode opens with a trigger warning stating that the chapter “contains raw and honest discussions about addiction and anxiety.” Later, the star gets candid about the first time he smoked weed at the age of 13, describing himself as “really dependent on it.”

Justin Bieber | Justin Bieber/Instagram
Justin Bieber | Justin Bieber/Instagram

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From there, Bieber goes on to reveal that he started drinking lean (also known as “purple drank” or “sizzurp”), taking pills and doing other drugs, describing it all as an “escape.”

His wife, 23, also appears onscreen and talks about her husband’s hurdles, sharing, “I think when you take somebody very, very young and they start to get horrible, crazy, crippling anxiety and it goes undiagnosed and you don’t know what it is that you’re feeling. You start to self-medicate because it makes you feel better, just helping not to feel anything.”

The video then transitions to Bieber’s longtime manager and friend, Scooter Braun, who shares that Bieber’s “dark period” started when he was 19 years old.

“I started valuing the wrong things in this business because there were things dangling in front of me,” Bieber states.

Justin Bieber and wife Hailey
Justin Bieber and wife Hailey

He then goes on to explain how he decided to stop. “I was dying,” he says, revealing that his security team was coming into his room at night to check his pulse and make sure he was still alive.

“People don’t know how serious it got,” he states. “It was legit, crazy scary.”

Bieber adds, “There are so many people who have gifts or an opportunity to make a change. And they end up losing it or using their gifts for selfish reasons. I see so many talented people and it feels like they’re wasting something so precious. It’s up to us as individuals to use the gifts that we’ve been given to contribute.”

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Justin Bieber | Broadimage/Shutterstock
Justin Bieber | Broadimage/Shutterstock

Also in the latest episode, he goes to the doctor’s office to get a nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide IV treatment to flush out his toxins.

“I have abused my body in the past and now I am just in the recovery process, trying to make sure I am taking care of my body and taking care of the vessel that God’s given me,” he says.

Bieber’s docuseries first premiered late last month and is expected to continue through February, past the release of the pop star’s upcoming fifth studio album. Titled Changes, the new album is set for release on Feb. 14 and will be his first album since 2015’s Purpose.

The first five episodes of Justin Bieber: Seasons are now available to watch on YouTube.