Johnny Manziel Reveals Past Suicide Attempt After 'Ramped Up' Drug Abuse: 'I Just Felt Empty'

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The controversial former NFL star opens up about his history with substance abuse and depression in Netflix's 'Untold' series

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Getty

Johnny Manziel reveals that he once attempted to take his own life after a series of public scandals and personal struggles, in an emotional installment of Netflix's Untold documentary series.

Formerly known as "Johnny Football" by fans, the once-promising quarterback whose career was derailed by controversies recalled the darkest days of his life after being drafted into the NFL.

"When I had gotten everything I’d ever wanted, I think I was the most empty that I ever felt inside," Manziel, 30, shared in the episode. "I think I was trying to suppress how I felt and get out of being Johnny Football."

<p>Rich von Biberstein/Icon Sportswire via Getty</p>

Rich von Biberstein/Icon Sportswire via Getty

Among several shocking — and clarifying — confessions in Untold: Johnny Football about the goings-on that led to his controversial behavior, the former Texas A&M quarterback said he "had bought a gun that I knew I was going to use," he explained.

“I had planned to do everything that I wanted to do at that point in my life, spend as much money as I possibly could, and then my plan was to take my own life."

Related: Johnny Manziel Admits He Was &#39;Lost in the Sauce&#39; And Vows to Become a Better Person

Manziel said he went through with his plan. "Still to this day, I don’t know what happened but the gun just clicked on me."

Reflecting on the path that led him to the attempt, Manziel recalled spending most of his days after being drafted into the NFL escaping "everybody and everything" in his Cleveland apartment.

"I just felt empty," he explained. "I wanted nothing to do with football."

Andrew Weber/Getty Images CINCINNATI, OH - NOVEMBER 5: Johnny Manziel #2 of the Cleveland Browns walks off of the field after being defeated by the Cincinnati Bengals 31-10 at Paul Brown Stadium on November 5, 2015 in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Andrew Weber/Getty Images CINCINNATI, OH - NOVEMBER 5: Johnny Manziel #2 of the Cleveland Browns walks off of the field after being defeated by the Cincinnati Bengals 31-10 at Paul Brown Stadium on November 5, 2015 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Eventually, the Browns cut him (which felt like "the biggest weight lifted" from his shoulders at the time), but Manziel's declining mental health caught up to him before he could regain control. "When you take one step onto a slippery slope, you know, it goes pretty quick," he explained, adding that he "had bigger issues" than football to tackle at the time in 2016.

During that year, he was accused of hitting and threatening ex-girlfriend Colleen Crowley. Later that year, an agreement was reached to dismiss the charges, CBS Sports reported at the time. Manziel attended mandatory anger management classes and entering rehab, and the charges were eventually dismissed in November 2017.

In Untold, Manziel said the subsequent weeks after his relationship grew increasingly toxic made him grow spiteful.

Getty Images Johnny Manziel
Getty Images Johnny Manziel

From there, the "direct self-sabotage" worsened, and he "really ramped up" his drug use, namely cocaine and oxycontin, to "a constant, daily" activity, he shared.

"The wires in my head seemed twisted," Manziel said, before sharing he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and began really struggling with suicidal thoughts.

Related: Johnny Manziel Says He&#39;s Shifting Focus to Becoming a Pro Golfer: &#39;I&#39;m Giving Myself 12 Years&#39;

Manziel's family sat down for Netflix's documentary, including his father, Paul Manziel, who recalled several attempts to convince his son to enter a treatment center in those days.

"I wanted to get him help. We all knew he was self-destructing," he shared.

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Later during his Untold appearance, Paul said he feels "blessed" that his son is "still with us," after looking back on the dark time for his family.

Paul added, "We can mend all the fences still but I think Johnnys got a lot better days coming than what he’s had.”

Untold: Johnny Football streams on Netflix beginning Aug. 8.

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

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