John Stamos Reveals Suppressed Memory of Childhood Sexual Assault: ‘I Packed It Away’
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While writing his upcoming memoir, John Stamos resurfaced a traumatic memory that he had previously suppressed. The novel, titled If You Would Have Told Me and set for release on Oct. 24, reveals that the actor had experienced sexual abuse as a child. Stamos said it was in the process of writing the book that he came to fully understand the encounter allegedly perpetrated by his childhood babysitter.
“I mean, I knew, it was always in the back, and I do so much advocacy for the [survivors],” Stamos told People in a recent interview about the memoir. “I felt like, I remembered it slightly. It has always been there, but I packed it away as people do, right? … It was like you’re playing dead so they’ll stop. But it wasn’t totally aggressive. I don’t know, it was not good.”
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The memory first returned to Stamos with more clarity while penning an acceptance speech for an award he was being presented for his advocacy for abused children, he explained. “I started to write it, and that’s when it really came out,” he shared. “And then I thought, ‘No, tonight is not about me. It’s about the kids. I’m going to pack it away again until the right moment.’ Otherwise, I’m a phony fuck. It’s like, ‘Come on.'”
Stamos estimates that he was around 10 or 11 years old when he was assaulted. “I shouldn’t have had to deal with those feelings,” he said. In sharing his story, the actor added: “I didn’t want the headlines to be that, and I didn’t want the book to be over that. It was a page or something, but I felt I had to talk about it.”
Last year, Stamos revealed that he was initially moved to write If You Would Have Told Me following the sudden death of Bob Saget and his experience having children of his own. “If You Would Have Told Me is the book I never planned to write, but after losing Bob, finally becoming a father, and wanting to honor all the colorful people who have made me who I am today, I figured if not now, when?” Stamos shared in a statement at the time.
He added: “Honestly, while writing this book, I’ve realized I have about a million stories to tell, and I think you may like at least four hundred of them. It has been cathartic and healing and sometimes heartbreaking to dig in and reveal so much.”
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