John Oliver Has Plenty of Time for Deranged Kate Middleton Theories: ‘She Died 18 Months Ago’

Last Week Tonight host and dedicated Bravo head John Oliver stopped by Watch What Happens Live last night (in a Brooks Marks tracksuit, no less), where he offered the British ex-pat perspective on the insane Kate Middleton photoshop fiasco: “There is a non-zero chance she died 18 months ago,” Oliver deadpanned.

Oliver admitted that when Middleton first shared her Mother’s Day (British version) photo over the weekend, he was “out,” adding: “I thought, let’s just ignore this, we’ve moved on.”

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But when the photoshopping revelations came out, and four leading image agencies — Getty Images, AFP, Reuters, and Associated Press — withdrew it with a “kill notice,” it was impossible not to get sucked right back in. (Not to mention the fact that the whole thing went down after a week of high-pitched rumors and conspiracy theories about Middleton’s public absence since undergoing surgery in January.)

“It feels like, you’re almost handling it badly in an impressive way at this point,” Oliver said before dropping his deranged “Kate is dead” theory. “They might be Weekend at Bernie’s-ing this situation,” he cracked. “Non-zero — I’m not saying it happened! I’m saying it’s non-zero. Until proved otherwise. Until we see her with a copy of the day’s newspaper.”

In a later segment, Oliver encouraged any and all rampant and reckless speculation on the situation, joking: “No theory is a bad theory until proven otherwise.” Then, without missing a beat, he pushed his own agenda again: “She’s dead.”

As for the reality of the situation — at least as it’s been frantically shaped by Kensington Palace — Middleton appeared to take responsibility herself for the editing done to the photographs. In a personal message shared via the Kensington Royal social pages, Middleton apologized for any “confusion,” saying: “Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused.”

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