Joe Giudice is reflecting on his past as he remembers his late father, Francesco.
On Saturday, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star, 47, shared a photo to Instagram of his father’s grave, seemingly taken by his daughter Milania Giudice as he thanked her for visiting the site, expressing that he continues to have a “terrible feeling” as he cannot see his family every day.
“My mistake has caused me literally not to touch my daughters everyday and you again. This terrible feeling continues as tears stream down my face knowing I can’t see you,” Joe wrote of his late father and daughters in the heartfelt post.
Giudice continued, “My promise to you dad and my girls I will never make the same mistake again. I must accept my flaws and forgive myself to go forward.”
“Thank you buddy for visiting Nonno,” he added, tagging Milania. “I look up to you daughters more and more each day.❤️❤️❤️❤️”
The Bravo star — who has been living in Italy as he waits out the final decision in his ongoing deportation case — also included the pensive hashtags “mistakes are lessons,” “forgiveness,” “truth” and “screw up.”
The father of four shared a video montage to The Jonas Brothers’ hit “What A Man Gotta Do” starring his four daughters, Gia, 19, Gabriella, 15, Milania, 14, and Audriana, 11.
“No matter how much 💯 energy and time I devoted to trying it failed. I did my best and put all efforts into making this a great experience for my family,” Joe wrote in a lengthy caption. “I did try to address issues in the relationship that bothered me throughout the years in return 🎥 portrayed it as Criticism! My key role was to always to be a great father and husband not the 🦹♂️ [villain].”
He added, “Today I 👀, I can’t allow others to keep lingering toxins and undesirable demands around me. I choose to have a solid foundation with strong and inspiring people around me in 🇮🇹. #inspire #strong #energy #toxicpeople#devote #livingmybestlife #relationshipgoals #italy🇮🇹 🥂 #bestlifenow.”
The reunion, however, was bittersweet, as he and Teresa finally sat down and decided to go their separate ways after 20 years of marriage. (PEOPLE reported the news exclusively back in December).
“Teresa and I share a bond that can never be broken,” Joe wrote in an Instagram post on Thursday. “We have both been through something that has brought so much hurt and heartache into our lives, for this is something that I must live for rest of my life. We are both strong, we are both survivors and only want best for our daughters. No matter what past is done.”
“We want to go forward to teach girls all marriages do not end in hate. Love is real and co-parenting is possible,” he added. “Our daughters are always loved by both of us and now it’s time to start new chapter in our lives!”