Jimmy Kimmel Loves Robert Mueller’s Report: Donald Trump Jr. “Ruled Too Stupid To Collude”
UPDATED with video: Calling it “another remarkable day in the United States,” ABC late-night star Jimmy Kimmel dove into the day’s release of Robert Mueller’s report on Russian election meddling and whether Donald Trump’s campaign participated.
“It is 448 pages long, and was delivered to members of Congress this morning – on CD ROM. Which meant members of Congress had to dig out their computers from 1994 to read it, I guess,” he snarked, adding, “Say what you will about this President, he has Americans reading again.”
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Before the report came out in the morning Trump’s “Defense Attorney General” William Barr held what Kimmel called a “very curious press conference” clearly designed “to put a positive spin on this not-at-all positive report.”
“The investigation also identified numerous links between the Russian government and the Trump campaign,” he said. For instance, “according to Mueller, when Trump went on TV and urged the Russians to hack Hillary’s emails? Five hours later, they did!”
“This Bill Bar, I don’t know what his deal is,” Kimmel acknowledged, describing Barr as looking “like if Elton John had conversion therapy and it worked.”
Experts on the presidency were shocked by Barr’s willingness to spin Mueller’s report in the President’s favor since the AG is supposed to be independent and not a White House apologist, Kimmel explained to viewers.
The president’s own lawyer Don McGahn gave some of the most interesting testimony, saying Trump had ordered him to fire Robert Mueller, but he refused “which is probably what saved Trump from being impeached right now,” Kimmel said.
There also are numerous examples of Trump’s aides ignoring his wishes, leading Kimmel to conclude “the reason Donald Trump is still in the White House is because no one in the White House is listening to him.”
“And, in terms of obstruction, the report makes it abundantly clear that yes, the President did repeatedly lie, and ask others to lie,” Kimmel added. “But – and this is the important thing — he didn’t lie to investigators. He only lied to us, the American People.”
The most explosive part of the report: Page 290, which says that when then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions told Trump a Special Counsel had been appointed, “The President slumped back in his chair and said ‘Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I’m f*cked’,” KImmel revealed.
“And of course, he was wrong. It wasn’t the end of his presidency, and it’s us that are f’ed.”
Kimmel seemed tickled that Mueller said Don Jr. was clearly unable to understand the criminal code, so they couldn’t prosecute him.
“In other words, he was ruled too stupid to collude,” Kimmel quipped.
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