President Donald Trump is so unleashed/unhinged these days that TV news outlets and late-night show hosts struggle to keep up. Jimmy Kimmel, for instance, started his monologue noting Trump’s meeting on Tuesday with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia at the White House.
“Trump actually prepared for this meeting,” Kimmel assured viewers. “His aides say he watched almost all of the movie Aladdin just to get ready for it.”
Establishing relationships with friendly foreign leaders is important for Trump right now because “he needs to build a network of countries he can flee to when the time comes,” Kimmel explained.
During his sit-down with the Prince, Trump got asked about newly re-elected Russian ruler Vladimir Putin, who won another fixed election this week. “And guess who called his KGBFF to congratulate him on that? This guy just poisoned two people. Trump is calling to congratulate him,” Kimmel savaged.
Kimmel moved on, noting the President’s legal team, meanwhile, is working overtime to help him avoid a lengthy interview with special counsel Robert Mueller.
“And while the impeachment team is working on that, the extramarital sex team is busy with Stormy Daniels,” Kimmel hopscotched.
Among the revelations in recent days, the President of the United States has a fake name that he uses specifically for lawsuits with adult film stars: David Dennison.
“You know how Trump’s lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid Stormy Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet about her affair with ‘David Dennison’? Now he says he paid her out of his own pocket because Trump is a good friend and that’s what lawyers do,” Kimmel explained.
“So let’s recap Michael Cohen’s version of this story: The President, his friend, did not have an affair with Stormy Daniels. In fact, they so didn’t have an affair, that Michael Cohen paid her $130,000 of his own money to get her to sign an NDA – and now is suing her for $20 million for breaking that NDA.”
“But what I want to know is, if he wins, who would get that $20 million? Would it be Michael Cohen?” Kimmel wondered. “And if the answer is yes, why? She didn’t say anything about Michael Cohen. Her story was about Donald Trump. If there were any damages, they were incurred by him. Wouldn’t he be entitled to that $20 million? Or would that go to David Dennison? This is gonna be great when Donald Trump winds up suing both Michael Cohen and David Dennison.”