Jimmy Kimmel On Donald Trump’s Spygate: Who You Gonna Trust, FBI Or Pumpkin McPornHumper?
Donald Trump was “up off the rails bright and early this morning, peddling his latest paranoid conspiracy theory,” Jimmy Kimmel told Jimmy Kimmel Live viewers.
Trump tweeted about the FBI putting a spy in his campaign multiple times, including random quotes from random Fox News contributors, and unveiled a new nickname for his imaginary controversy: Spygate!
Trump tweeted that Spygate could be one of the biggest political scandals in history,” Kimmel marveled. Which Trump followed with the classic: “WITCH HUNT!”
“He always does the greatest hits,” Kimmel explained, adding, “Donald Trump tweets like The Hulk speaks.”
Kimmel believes Trump “appears to have the world’s most suggestible brain.”
“He watches Fox & Friends blather on about a negative New Yorker article and then, eight minutes later, we get a tweet saying Congress should burn all the magazines. He’s like a largemouth bass – he doesn’t think, he just strikes when he’s annoyed.”
“He hears the word ‘Watergate.’ He probably doesn’t really know what Watergate is. He knows that had something to do with spying and the President. So somehow, he convinces himself ‘waitaminute! That’s what’s happening to me!’”
“And then he says, ‘this is Spygate!'”
“Even though there was no spy. Or gate for that matter.”
Now that “this Spygate nonsense is out there, you have to decide who do you trust?” Kimmel argued. “It comes down to, the FBI or Pumpkin McPornHumper? Which one do you believe?”
“And, of course, his people believe the Humper,” Kimmel snarked.
Kimmel also noticed Trump tweeted “follow the money,” which is a line from the movie about Watergate, All the President’s Men – “and is also the way Trump gets women into his bedroom.”
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