Jesse Tyler Ferguson Opens Up About Surrogate Who Carried Both Sons: 'So Grateful' (Exclusive)

Jesse Tyler Ferguson talks about the similarities and differences he and husband Justin Mikita are finding in parenting sons Sullivan "Sully" Louis, 5 months, and Beckett Mercer, 2½

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is soaking up the little things as he settles into life with a family of four.

Speaking with PEOPLE about his partnership with Enfamil in support of Enfamil Enspire, the Modern Family alum, 47, says he is enjoying being "hands-on" with sons Sullivan "Sully" Louis, 5 months, and Beckett Mercer, 2½.

"It's really nice settling in and seeing his daily changes," Ferguson tells PEOPLE. "I kind of forgot how quickly babies change. Every day, it's something completely new."

Having welcomed both of his sons with husband Justin Mikita, 37, via surrogate, it was important for the couple to get the closest formula to breast milk.

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Related:Jesse Tyler Ferguson Says Son Beckett 'Loves to Perform as Well': 'Maybe He Caught the Bug Early'

"When we had both of ours the hospital gave us Enfamil at the hospital. I was like, 'Well if they trust this, we should definitely use this at home.'"

Admitting he did a "ton of research," he says that Enspire was a "no-brainer."

"It's the only leading brand with lactoferrin and from my research, I knew that you're lactoferrin and colostrum were very important. Even with our surrogate, when she was pumping in the hospital, we brought the colostrum to Sullivan and Beckett so that they could have that," he continues.

"So I know that these things were very important and these are ingredients that are naturally found in breast milk and they're also in Enspire Optimum. So that was very important to me."

Also important to the couple is the relationship they share with their surrogate, who carried both of their sons.

"We had a wonderful surrogate who carried both Beckett and Sullivan," he tells PEOPLE. "We are so grateful for her and her family. We became friends with her and her husband."

While their feeding journeys are similar, the couple has noticed the differences between Beckett's infancy — which was during the stay-at-home days of the pandemic — and Sully's.

"We were hands-on all this time, kind of staring at him because we were all stuck together. Now because Beckett is very active and the world sort of come back, I'm working, and Justin is working, and we're using our in-laws and parents more to help us out, when before everyone sort of had to stay away," he explains.

While it's "completely different," the screen and stage star says, "I enjoy doing it this way more."

"I definitely liked having the one-on-one time with Beckett, but I think doing it communally with a family and in a place where you can go out and enjoy the world, is a huge help."

Ferguson is also enjoying watching Beckett grow into his role as a big brother.

"He's excited for Sully to slowly do more than just lay there. He actually said, 'Sully, do something!' the other day, and I explained he just needs a little bit more time," he says with a laugh. "But he does like telling people he's a big brother."

The father of two has also been busy asking his parent friends about their potty training strategies.

"Right now, we're potty training with Beckett and it's a lot of questions. What system are you using? What books did you read? What kind of toilet seat cover?" he says. "It's a lot of crowdsourcing because I have a lot of friends who have kids around the same age as mine. So I'm not afraid to ask questions and find out what they're doing."

Both Ferguson and Mikita enjoy providing that community to other parents as well, especially those who are going through their own surrogacy journey.

"There's absolutely no shame in asking for help. When I first started, I was like, 'I want to look like I know exactly what I'm doing and I have this all figured out,' and that goes away very quickly," the actor tells PEOPLE.

"We realized, 'I could use some help. I could use some advice.' I think you have to let your ego go," he continues. "No one's good at this right away. Even people who say they're naturals or were born to do this, I guarantee you they're asking for help in some way, or reading some book or doing their research online. Advice is meant to be passed down, so it's great to just accept it."

Ferguson also shared some advice for parents who are in the process of exploring surrogacy.

"Every surrogate process is different, and you sort of have to create your own rules around what sort of relationship you want to have with your surrogate. It really is a personal choice, I don't think there's a playbook for it," he says. "But I think it starts with a lot of trust and remembering that this person is doing such a beautiful, wonderful thing for you, in helping you expand your family when you don't have the means to. So, for us, that's what we always kept in the forefront."

With some new projects on the horizon and his hands full at home, Ferguson is making sure to take time to enjoy the "unconditional love" that comes with parenting.

"I love my husband very much. I love my parents very much, my siblings. But there's something about this tiny person who relies on you so much, it breaks your heart open in a very unique way that I've never experienced before," he says. "And it's scary too because you understand what like true heartbreak would feel like if something bad happened to that person that you love."

He continues, "It's also that feeling of totally unconditional love and that cliche of your heart living outside your body. It's a wonderful feeling, and it's also terrifying."

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