Jenni “JWoww” Farley is finally opening up about her split from Roger Mathews.
In PEOPLE’s exclusive sneak peek at Thursday’s episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, Farley, 34, addresses the breakup for the first time on-camera. She filed for divorce from Mathews last September after almost three years of marriage, and so far this season has strictly refused to discuss it.
Though they continued to spend time together as a family after the divorce filing, even celebrating their three-year wedding anniversary in October, the relationship took a downward turn in December, when Farley filed for a restraining order against Mathews after the two got into an argument.
In the clip, Farley, 34, voices her frustration over the fact that their drama is playing out in the public eye.
“I thought silence was the greater good,” she tells Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi.
“It is, for your kids,” Polizzi agrees. “And who wants this s— out in the public, anyway? I guess he does.”
“As bad as our relationship got, I stayed f—ing quiet, because that’s what you’re supposed to do,” Farley says. “So to me, the ultimate betrayal is the fact that he went public.”
In a series of videos posted on Instagram Dec. 14, including several filmed in the back of a police car, Mathews, 44, alleged Farley was “hysterically shouting” at him and threatened to call the cops while they were fighting about her going back to work. Mathews said he called the police himself and after they left, he went out to record a podcast with a friend, then returned home and went to sleep without interacting with Farley. He alleged that he was woken up by police at 2 a.m. and removed from his home after being informed that Farley had contacted the judge and filed a restraining order against him.
At the time, a spokesperson for the Toms River Police Department confirmed to PEOPLE that police were dispatched to the couple’s home at approximately 1 a.m. “for a civil matter.” According to the spokesperson, Mathews was served with a temporary restraining order and provided transportation to another location.
Farley said in a statement via her rep the following day that after “certain events transpired,” she “felt it was in her best interests, and the best interests of her children,” to involve the authorities.
“She is proud to be a hardworking parent who provides for her children,” the statement continued. “While we have chosen not to comment further, we will note that a judge immediately ruled in Jenni’s favor and issued a temporary order of protection last night. Please respect Jenni’s decision for privacy in an effort to protect herself and her children during this time.”
Speaking to producers in the clip, Farley admits her divorce is “a sore subject.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it publicly, out of respect for my children,” she says of daughter Meilani, 5, and son Greyson, 3. “So when those videos came out, I feel like it was a really, really low blow by Roger.”
“Everyone was attacking Jenni for keeping the kids away from Roger, when that’s not even the truth,” Polizzi insists. “Little does anybody know, Jenni let Roger stay in the house after she filed for divorce so he could still be with the kids. But he would start fights in front of the children. So finally, enough is enough, she called the cops and said, ‘You’ve got to get out.’ But she never said Roger can’t see his kids.”
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Farley insists that she didn’t have Mathews arrested, despite what fans were speculating on social media.
“People think that I had him arrested — not even the case,” she says. “Because you wouldn’t have your phone in the back of a cop car! They were being nice and giving him a ride.”
“I just want this to calm down, because I’m in the public eye and I just don’t want this to get out of control,” she adds. “At the end of the day, he’s still the father of my kids. I’ve got to keep it together.”
“It’s all about the kids, honestly,” adds Polizzi.
“Everything that I do in this life, today, the kids come first,” Farley says. “For him to literally just piss on all of that and call me a piece of s— mom, that sucks.”
“The last thing I want is this divorce to drag out,” she adds. “Thankfully, we have the prenup, because this thing can’t end soon enough.”
She has also moved on romantically and has been dating 24-year-old wrestler Zack Clayton Carpinello since April.
Jersey Shore: Family Vacation airs Thursdays (8 p.m. ET) on MTV.