Jennifer Lopez Says 'Living Out Loud' with Ben Affleck in the Beginning 'Turned Out to Really Bite Us'

Jennifer Lopez is reflecting on her time in the public eye with Ben Affleck over the years.

In the December Vogue cover story, published Tuesday, Lopez, 53, said that in the early parts of her career, she was "of the mind that I could say or do anything."

"I was from the Bronx, and who didn't say what they thought there?" Lopez said.

Addressing the attention her relationship with Affleck received in the early 2000s, Lopez told Vogue: "We were so young and so in love at that time, really very carefree, with no kids, no attachments. And we were just living our lives, being happy and out there. It didn't feel like we needed to hide from anybody or be real discreet."

"We were just living out loud, and it turned out to really bite us," Lopez continued. "There was a lot underneath the surface there, people not wanting us to be together, people thinking I wasn't the right person for him."

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Lopez added that she "became very guarded because I realized that they will fillet you."

"I really wish I could say more. I used to be like that," she concluded. "I am like that. But I've also learned."

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Annie Leibovitz/Vogue

The Marry Me actress also opened up about reconnecting with Affleck, whom she was first engaged to in the early 2000s before they split. They eventually got back together almost two decades later, saying "I do" in Las Vegas this past summer before celebrating their wedding with a ceremony in Georgia in front of friends and family just over a month later.

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"I always felt like there was a real love there, a true love there," Lopez said. "People in my life know that he was a very, very special person in my life. When we reconnected, those feelings for me were still very real."

And while she isn't sure she'd "recommend" the way their relationship has played out "for everybody," as "sometimes you outgrow each other, or you just grow differently," Lopez told Vogue that she and Affleck "lost each other and found each other."