Jennifer Coolidge takes prospective buyers on a definitely-not-ominous house tour in The Watcher teaser

·2 min read

At 657 Boulevard, home is truly where the heart is… and where the horror is.

The luxurious $3.2 million family home is currently up for sale, and realtor Karen Calhoun, played by national treasure Jennifer Coolidge, is ready to showcase its many historical charms in the new teaser for Ryan Murphy's upcoming Netflix limited series The Watcher.

In the clip, Coolidge guides prospective buyers through a video tour of the four-bedroom, five-bathroom abode, which was built in 1921 and even comes with an extra bathroom — "just for fun!"

The Watcher Season 1, Episode 1 Jennifer Coolidge
The Watcher Season 1, Episode 1 Jennifer Coolidge

ERIC LIEBOWITZ/NETFLIX Jennifer Coolidge in 'The Watcher'

The actress takes the time to point out the home's more eccentric characteristics, including kitchen countertops made out of "hot-tub wood," replica marble tables, and a handy little nook by the dining room table where you can plop your Thanksgiving turkey or whatever. "You're just two feet away from any major piece of meat," Coolidge notes. (Um, sold?)

Bonus: The pad has its very own dumbwaiter, which Coolidge slaps before lovingly (and not ominously at all) remarking, "I'm telling you, you could fit a person in there."

The house also features a sunroom for "accessing the real sun," a darkened semi-finished attic and basement, and a master bedroom complete with massive windows. "You can actually see everything that's going on in the town," Coolidge says. But, she adds, "You wanna keep the windows closed… you know, there's a lot of weird neighbors and stuff out there."

She's not wrong. Inspired by true events, The Watcher tells the story of Dean (Bobby Cannavale) and Nora Brannock (Naomi Watts), who secure their dream home in Westfield, N.J., only to quickly discover their neighbors — Mitch (Richard Kind) and Mo (Margo Martindale) and siblings Pearl (Mia Farrow) and Jasper (Terry Kinney) — aren't exactly welcoming them with open arms.

As the neighborhood's dark history begins to unravel, Nora and Dean find themselves up against the rest of the residents, who attempt to sneak into their home and hide in — you guessed it — their dumbwaiter. And, if that weren't enough to consider an address change, the couple begin to receive mysterious letters from someone calling themselves The Watcher.

So yeah, probably best to keep those curtains closed.

Watch the new teaser for The Watcher above.

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