Jennette McCurdy Reads Shocking Email Sent from Abusive Late Mom on Red Table Talk
Jennette McCurdy is showcasing an example of how her abusive late mother used to speak to her.
The former Nickelodeon star, now 30, appears on this week's new episode of Facebook Watch's Red Table Talk, opening up to co-hosts Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith and Adrienne Banfield Norris about "decades of torment, exploitation and manipulation inflicted by her very own mother" after "years of suffering in silence," according to a press release.
In a clip from the RTT conversation shared exclusively with PEOPLE, McCurdy reads aloud an email she once received from her mom about seeing a TMZ photo of her online.
McCurdy's mom Debbie died of cancer in 2013. The iCarly alum looks back at childhood fame and her past struggles in the new memoir I'm Glad My Mom Died.
Debbie began by writing, "I am so disappointed in you," in the email, which is included in McCurdy's book. McCurdy continues reading as Jada, Willow and Adrienne react in shock.
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"'You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little' — all caps — 'slut, a floozy, all used up,' " McCurdy reads. "'And to think you wasted it on that hideous ogre of a man. I saw the pictures on a website called TMZ. I saw you rubbing his disgusting hairy stomach. I knew you were lying about Colton.' (I had told her I was with a friend, Colton.) Add that to a list of things you are: liar, conniving, evil."
RELATED: Jennette McCurdy on Healing from 'Intense' Physical and Emotional Abuse by Her Mom
Red Table Talk
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"'You look pudgier too. It's clear you're eating your guilt,' " she continues reading. "'Thinking of you with his ding-dong inside of you makes me sick. Sick! I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go and who is this monster that has replaced her? You're an ugly monster now. I told your brothers about you and they all said they disown you just like I do. We want nothing to do with you. Love, Mom — or should I say Deb since I am no longer your mother? P.S. Send money for a new fridge; ours broke.' "
McCurdy adds with a laugh, "The P.S. gets me," as Willow, 21, reacts with a "Wow!"
Red Table Talk
In her book, McCurdy opens up about disordered eating and finding a better place after years of therapy. The star, who says she has a good relationship with her brothers, recently told PEOPLE, "I did not know how to find my identity without my mom. And I'm not going to lie, it was very hard to get here. But now I'm at a place in my life that I never would have thought was possible. And I finally feel free."
The Facebook Watch original series Red Table Talk returns with a premiere episode featuring Jennette McCurdy on Wednesday at 9 a.m. PT/12 p.m. ET. New episodes stream weekly.