Jelly Roll Reveals How He Found 'Peace' After Reconsidering His Relationship with Alcohol and Cocaine (Exclusive)

The country singer — who admittedly struggled with addiction in the past — has turned his life around, and now, he’s nominated for two Grammys

When Jelly Roll answers the phone, he’s in the middle of a police escort on his way to Genesee County Jail in Flint, Michigan, where he plans to play some music for the inmates.

The soulful “Save Me” singer, 39, has had myriad run-ins of his own with the law throughout his life — he’s been to jail himself some 40 times for various drug charges. The very first time he was arrested, he was only 14.

Fast forward more than 20 years later, Jelly — born Jason DeFord — is enjoying the whirlwind success this year has brought him: he’s scored three No. 1 country hits, dropped the smash album Whitsitt Chapel (his seventh studio record, but first official foray into country) and won new artist of the year at the CMA Awards.

And now, Jelly has even scored two Grammy nominations, including one for best new artist.

Still, the reformed family man wasn’t always on the straight and narrow path. Before he could pursue and lean into country music fame, Jelly had to clean up his act, and that meant re-examining his relationship with some challenging vices.

“I had to learn that you could drink alcohol without doing cocaine. It took me a long time to learn that,” he tells PEOPLE. “I've never said that, but that's real. There was a long time where I just assumed, when people told me they drank without doing cocaine, I was like, I thought we only drank to do cocaine.”

Though Jelly never went to rehab for his drug addiction, he does spend a lot of his time visiting various centers across the country where he’ll bring warm meals, play some songs and “do a little encouraging.” He does the same at juvenile centers.

"I always said that if I ever got in this situation, I would do everything I could to give back," he says. "The fact that just me showing up places can make people happy is such a gift, and I feel like if God gave me that gift, I should show up."

Related: Jelly Roll Explains at 2023 CMA Awards How He Planned What He Hopes Is the 'Biggest Toy Drive in Nashville History' (Exclusive)

Before he could start showing up for others, however, Jelly had to show up for himself first.

His relationship with alcohol remained complicated as he navigated life beyond drug addiction: “I thought [drinking] was to make us not feel like drug addicts. Nobody wants to snort cocaine sober, then you're a drug addict. But I had to re-look at my relationship with alcohol like that,” he says.

“I never really had a problem with alcohol, so I'll still have a cocktail, but very, especially this year, very seldomly,” he adds. “Like, special night kind of stuff, like the night of the CMAs, of course we partied. But I just try to stay away from drugs.”

These days, Jelly’s vices remain that of alcohol and marijuana, but he indulges carefully, he says, and he’s cognizant of his behavior.

“I've never talked about this in interviews, but because I do drink and smoke weed, I will attend meetings occasionally. If I'm really struggling with thinking of my behavioral pattern, I'll go to a meeting,” he shares. “I just, out of an abundance of respect for the people who really got off the drugs completely, and the alcohol and the weed, I don't necessarily claim to be a part of the program, because I respect their work and I would never want to diminish it with some of my actions, but AA has done a lot for me.”

Related: Jelly Roll on the 'Really Personal' Reason He Gave Back to Detention Center That Incarcerated Him

Jelly also credits his family for helping him turn his life around: he’s dad to daughter Bailee, 15, and son Noah, 7, from two prior relationships, and he co-parents the children with his wife of seven years, podcaster Bunnie Xo, 43.

“I'm very anchored in my family,” says Jelly, who adds that he hails from a “big ole white trash” one in Nashville. “Being a father is so important to me. The single most impactful event of my entire life was having my daughter. It changed everything.”

Bailee was born while Jelly was locked up behind bars on a crack cocaine charge at just 23 years old. He says he views his daughter’s birth like “the Christian scripture of when Saul turned into Paul on the Damascus Road. It was kind of that moment for me.”

Today, Jelly admits that his life isn't one without daily struggle. His latest addiction is to the “pantry,” he says, but he can only handle quitting “one addiction at a time."

“I’m a man that's figuring it out," he says. "A man that comes from a place nobody figured it out.”

“I've made a lot of peace with my past. I mean, it still haunts me like the ghosts I know, but I tell you what, I don't think about doing no drugs today," Jelly adds. "As far as today goes, I don't know about tomorrow, but I can tell you, today, right now, I'm happy,” he says.

For more from Jelly Roll, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday.

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