Jeezy Had Depression for 8 Years But Didn't Realize It: 'I Thought Something Was Wrong with Me'

"You wake up and you just want to go back to sleep forever,” the rapper, 46, recalled of his mental health struggles

Jeezy is opening up about the years he was unknowingly struggling with depression and anxiety.

During an appearance on the Tamron Hall Show, the “Soul Survivor” artist said he had depression for eight years before realizing what was affecting him. Referencing his new memoir, Adversity for Sale, the 46-year-old said he didn’t grow up with the education surrounding issues of mental health but is grateful for being able to “change my mindset.”

"I learned that vulnerability is power,” he told Tamron Hall. “I thought something was wrong with me, thinking I come from poverty, this is just how it is."

"I didn’t understand trauma and all these different things so when I started to get the words for it, I started to understand and grab tools, I started to become better,” he continued. “I started my journey and that’s why I’m expressing it and putting it in the book because I didn’t know I was depressed for like eight years of my life straight."

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Jeezy explained that his trauma and depression came from growing up dealing drugs, where he saw his friends abusing drugs or getting killed.

"You wake up and you just want to go back to sleep forever, you know? And I was leaning into my vices. And that’s what street life does to you. You know what I’m saying?” he said. “When you lose 200, 300, 400 people like gone forever, you just, you get numb. And I wasn’t able to get in touch with my emotions and I was wondering why.”

“Thank God for my kids but there was a time I was just cold. That’s when I was Young Jeezy," he added, noting his three kids, Jadarius, Amra and Monaco.

Jeezy also spoke to PEOPLE in August about some of the mental health struggles he details in his memoir.

The “Trap or Die” rapper — whose real name is Jay Wayne Jenkins — recalled having suicidal thoughts while attending the National Guard's Youth Challenge program after getting caught with drug possession in 1994.

Related: Jeezy Reflects on the Time He Had Suicidal Thoughts — and Why He Decided Not to 'Jump' (Exclusive)

The nine-month program was nearly over when he was taken on a field trip to a naval base. Jeezy was onboard a ship when he had a moment of reflection.

"I remember standing there and saying to myself, 'Man, if you go back home and you don't figure this out... because I don't want to end up like my friends.' My friends became junkies and they were getting killed and all these things," he told PEOPLE.

The "Holy Ghost" rapper continued, "So it was all this stuff in my head. I just remember standing there and it was for a brief moment, I would say at least about 10 minutes, I actually contemplated jumping in the water. I had never had suicidal thoughts, but I [thought], 'Well, s---, if I just jump in the water, I ain't gotta deal with this. I ain't gotta go back home. I gotta do none of these things.'"

Something inside him told him, "'No, bro. You gonna have to man up. You gonna have to go back home. You got to figure this out.'" When he left the youth program, he was "ready for anything."

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.

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