Jay Allen Has So Much Love for His Late Mother — but So Many Regrets: 'I Lost That Time'

"Looking back I realized that, at the time, instead of spending that time with my mother before she passed, I immediately went to war," the country singer says while discussing his new single "No Prayer Like Mama's"

Jay Allen says he feels like he has been grieving for years.

Certainly, The Voice standout has long made a career out of the songs that materialized from the grief Allen has felt following his mother's death in 2019 from Alzheimer's disease. And it was this creative muse that was sparked once again last fall, when Allen walked into the writing room alongside fellow songwriter Justin Morgan to write his latest single "No Prayer Like Mama's."

"I wrote it for me," admits Allen, 36, during a recent interview with PEOPLE. "I honestly didn't think that anyone on my team would think ['No Prayer Like Mama's'] was anything special."

But they did.

"The song is really saying that I believe that I have a mother in heaven that has my back and she's good now," says the Iowa native, whose debut single "Blank Stares" was inspired by Allen's mother's battle with Alzheimer's disease. "And she's still praying for me and guiding me through whatever is next."

'Whatever is next' is something that Allen had much time to think about last year while he was filming Season 22 of The Voice.

"I haven't had that much alone time since I was a kid, where you really are trapped with your thoughts," he explains of his time in Los Angeles filming the singing competition show. "I had chosen on the way to The Voice to choose sobriety for those two months. It was a very spiritual experience for me. I just became stronger, and I made a lot of decisions that prepped me to become a better husband, a better brother, a better son…"

The time also allowed Allen to reflect on the last few years — and just what he had given up personally in order to make a name for himself professionally.

"Looking back I realized that, at the time, instead of spending that time with my mother before she passed, I immediately went to war," admits Allen quietly. "I had an opportunity, and I was going to exhaust it. Instead of literally going back home and being with her and spending time with her and holding her and giving her those last few years with me, I just made it about myself. I went on the road and took every interview, you know?"

But make no mistake — Allen's efforts as an advocate for the Alzheimer's Association cannot be understated, as his efforts have helped raise $100 million dollars to fund research for a cure.

"But in doing so, I lost that time with my mom," continues Allen. "And I kind of lost myself. She was gone and I said to myself that I was going to do everything in my power to keep talking about this and spreading awareness because I was pissed off."

But recently, Allen says he has felt his heart healing, and in turn, he has been giving more thought about illuminating another side of him that lives just below his surface.

"If anyone sees my live show, it's five guys on stage covered in tattoos, rocking and rolling," laughs Allen, whose recent re-release of the 3 Doors Down hit, "Here Without You" has been getting much attention as of late. "It's high-energy and fun and upbeat. If you listen to my music right now, it doesn't quite represent my live show. I have some surprises in store that will really point to my past and the music I was raised on. I am muscle cars and tattoos and guitars. That's really at the heartbeat of me who I am."

Related:After Postponing Their Wedding Due to Hurricane Ian, Jay Allen and Kylie Morgan Are Finally Married

And no one knows this side of Allen more than his wife, fellow music artist Kylie Morgan.

"She has desired this for a long time," continues Allen, who plans to release a full-length record this fall. "I think a lot of people see me as just an advocate and a face for the Alzheimer's cause. And I always will be. But there's definitely another side to me."

And it's this side he knows his mom loved too.

"I finally now feel like I'm in a really good place," Allen tells PEOPLE. "God always has a plan."

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