Jane Fonda on Past Relationships: 'Life Would Have Been Very Different If I'd Noticed Red Flags' (Exclusive)

The actress and activist says she's learned a lot of valuable life lessons from her marriages

Jane Fonda says she's learned a lot about love and marriage over the years. Her biggest lesson? "Marriage is f---ing hard!"

The actress and activist, 85, married French filmmaker Roger Vadim in 1965. During their eight-year marriage, the two lived in Paris and welcomed daughter Vanessa. "He had tremendous charm but we were very different," she tells PEOPLE.

Fonda then wed activist Tom Hayden in 1973 and the two had son Troy Garity. "I learned all the things that I consider the most valuable from Tom," she says of Hayden, whom she split with in 1990.

She found love again in 1991 with CNN founder Ted Turner. "He's outrageous and hysterically funny," she says of Turner, whom she was married to for 10 years.

Today, Fonda is single and grateful for her past relationships and the lessons she's learned. But, she says, "My life would be very different if I'd noticed red flags."

Related:Jane Fonda Says She 'Did Not Think' She Would Come Back to Acting After Her Marriage with Ted Turner

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"You have to understand nobody is perfect," she says. "And you have to decide: Can I live with this? Can we work with each other on this or is this a deal-breaker? Force yourself to notice if there are any red flags. What kind of a relationship do they have with their mother? Is alcohol a problem? Is gambling a problem?"

The Oscar-winning star, who has four films out this year, including the comedy Book Club: The Next Chapter, in theaters May 12, says her best advice is to make sure you understand what you are stepping into at the start of any relationship.

"The expression 'I fell in love' — what's wrong with that sentence? Fell! You don't want to fall. You want to walk toward him or her on two feet as a whole human being and be very aware of what you're getting into," she says.

Related:Jane Fonda on Why at 85 She's the Happiest She's Ever Been: 'Life Gets Better with Age'

The Grace and Frankie star says she's currently the "happiest I've ever been," pointing to the fun she had making the sequel to her 2019 rom-com hit Book Club with friends Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen and Mary Steenburgen in Italy. Says Fonda, "It was a dream come true."

For more on Jane Fonda, pick up this week's issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.

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