Jamie Lynn Spears' memoir: What she says about Britney Spears, conservatorship, their parents

Jamie Lynn Spears wants to finally tell her side of the story.

The younger sister to pop icon Britney Spears has experienced plenty of tabloid headlines and gossip about herself in two decades working in the entertainment industry and growing up adjacent to one of music's biggest superstars.

Jamie Lynn Spears' memoir, "Things I Should Have Said" (Worthy Publishing, 240 pp., out now), is an all-encompassing account of the 30-year-old actress and singer's life and career, from her childhood experiences with patriarch James "Jamie" Spears to finding her way as a musician, teen mom and young wife, and watching her sister's high-profile conservatorship come to an end late last year.

By her account, being a Spears has never been easy. Growing up, she dealt with a father whom she resented for his drinking and unpredictable behavior, and a mother from whom she felt disconnected as the matriarch was pulled between supporting her daughters: one struggling with immense fame and the other making her own break into the entertainment industry while trying to hold onto some semblance of a normal childhood.

Though her writing and preceding interviews have drawn backlash from her sister, Jamie Lynn Spears reiterates in the book's introduction that her mission is to tell "my story, in my own words." USA TODAY has reached out to Britney Spears' lawyer for comment on the book; meanwhile, the singer has been vocal online in her disapproval.

"Despite her comments, I still support what is best for her," Jamie Lynn Spears writes of her sister in the book. "I’m only saddened that in her current state of mind, she is incapable of supporting me in the same way. … I’m not looking for pity. I want Britney and the world to know she isn’t the only one who is left with the scars from our early years of delinquency and manipulation."

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These are some of the most notable claims of Jamie Lynn Spears' book:

Britney Spears was a 'role model' to Jamie Lynn, but fame complicated things

With 10 years between them, Jamie Lynn Spears saw her older sister not only as her biggest role model, but as a "second mother," she writes.

"My early years in Hollywood were made better by having my sister be an integral part of the experience," reads one passage. "But by the time I was twelve and learning about the darker side of fame, my sister’s struggles in her own life and the media had intensified."

Even as Jamie Lynn Spears watched fame make Britney Spears increasingly "disturbed and paranoid," she recalls feeling as though her sister "always put me front and center," and was "one of my biggest cheerleaders."

"Beyond the support and adoration, Britney was simply a terrific sister," she writes. "That’s not just me paying homage to a living legend. For many years, she was good at keeping her persona out of our sisterhood. The rest of it – the stardom, talent, and turbulent media (expletive) – that’s got very little to do with the sister I love. The only reason I mention the gossip that’s been reported in the tabloids is to say that so much of what has been written about her is a diluted version of the truth."

More: Nonprofit organization declines donations from Jamie Lynn Spears' upcoming book

Jamie Lynn was 'traumatized' by dad's drinking, Mom hitting her with camera

Spears paints a picture of a complicated relationship between her father and the rest of their family. Jamie Spears, the "son of an abusive perfectionist," dealt with alcohol abuse, Jamie Lynn Spears writes, and he and Lynne Spears divorced in 2002. There were times Jamie Lynn Spears refused to speak to him, and seeing her mother let him in their apartment "felt like a betrayal."

"I was traumatized by the fallout of his alcohol abuse and developed anticipatory anxiety at the thought of him showing up drunk to any of my sporting events or performances," Spears writes of her teenage years. "I feared the potential humiliation and shame that would result from him making a scene."

USA TODAY has reached out to Jamie Spears' lawyer for comment.

She also cites one incident around that time when Lynne Spears was "emotionally strained and she snapped," yelling at Jamie Lynn Spears before "hitting me with a large beaded purse that had, among other things, a camera inside." Her makeup artist noticed scratches on her shoulder the next day.

Jamie Lynn Spears has since discussed the incident with her mother and gave her notice that she was mentioning it in her book, she said on a Tuesday episode of podcast "Call Her Daddy."

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Jamie Lynn details scary knife incident; Britney says it never happened

Throughout the book, Jamie Lynn Spears uses the word "erratic" to describe her sister's behavior as she dealt with increasingly heavy media scrutiny.

In one passage, she describes an incident that occurred following her sister's whirlwind marriage and split from Jason Alexander in 2004.

"I wanted my sister back. But instead, I saw the depth of her difficulty," Jamie Lynn Spears writes. "One time, she said to me, 'Baby, I’m scared,' and took a large knife from the kitchen, pulled me along to my room, and she locked us both inside. She put the knife in the bedside table drawer and simply repeated, 'I’m scared.' She needed me to sleep beside her."

Britney Spears wrote last week on Twitter that her sister had "stooped to a whole new level of LOW" by sharing the knife story, which Britney Spears said never happened: "Please please stop with these crazy lies for Hollywood books," she added.

Jamie Lynn Spears goes on to say in the book that Britney Spears continued to "be the best sister she could at that time."

"The spotlights on my sister were blinding and obscured her ability to recognize the dangers all around her – dangers that still exist," she writes. "Sometimes I feel like Britney’s light was too bright, and I should have done more to protect her."

Britney found out about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy with the rest of the world

Around the same time as Britney Spears' public struggle with fame, her younger sister was grappling with her own pressures: In 2007, as filming for Jamie Lynn Spears' show "Zoey 101" was ending and she was plotting her next career move, she discovered she was pregnant at 16.

Jamie Lynn Spears described it as a hectic time, while the "entire Spears team" was focusing on helping her sister and just wanted to make Jamie Lynn's "issue" disappear.

Spears recalled her team "went so far as hiding my pregnancy from my sister, claiming, "It’s too risky to tell Britney about the baby.

"I needed her more than ever and she wasn’t able help me in my most vulnerable time. … They were concerned her instability at that time made her untrustworthy. I went along with what my team told me to do because I was a minor and didn’t want to create any more issues. Britney learned of the pregnancy when the article (from OK! magazine, breaking the pregnancy news) was released. To this day, the hurt of not being able to tell my sister myself lingers."

Spears welcomed daughter Maddie Briann Aldridge on June 19, 2008, with then-fiancé Casey Aldridge (referred to only as "Casper" in the book). She married husband Jamie Watson in 2014 and welcomed another daughter, Ivey Joan Watson, in 2018.

Jamie Lynn believes Britney's conservatorship was meant to keep her safe

When Britney Spears' parents helped establish her conservatorship in 2008, Jamie Lynn Spears recalled it being helpful for their family: Not only was Jamie Spears helping to "get rid of the extortionists and conspirators" in Britney Spears' life, he "committed to his sobriety," which Jamie Lynn Spears said mended her resentments against him.

"This was the first time in my life where someone was holding them accountable for their behaviors, and the perpetual anxiety I lived with for so long finally subsided. I could stop worrying about their sobriety," she writes.

Though she believes the "only intent" in establishing the conservatorship was to keep Britney Spears "safe at a time when she couldn’t do that for herself," Jamie Lynn Spears also points out that it "seemed that almost everyone on the team was more interested in keeping the money coming in than in getting her the help she needed."

Nearly 14 years after it was set, a judge ruled in November that Britney Spears was officially free of the conservatorship.

'Can we end this?': Jamie Lynn Spears shares message after Britney Spears' conservatorship hearing

Britney's vague statements about their family 'allowed an onslaught of hate' against Jamie Lynn, she says

As backlash against the conservatorship grew publicly over the past few years, fueled partly by documentaries, online fan campaigns and #FreeBritney, so did the way Jamie Lynn Spears viewed her sister's role in their family.

She calls out Britney Spears at one point, criticizing the "sweeping allegations" her sister made about their family last year. The vagueness of those comments "allowed an onslaught of hate that put me and my family at risk," Jamie Lynn Spears writes, noting they have been "threatened" and there are times when she doesn't feel safe.

'This conservatorship killed my dreams': Britney Spears calls out her family in emotional post

"From the earliest days of Britney’s challenges, I have protected her at every turn. Too young to know better, to understand that it’s okay if you’re not okay, I helped keep Britney’s emotional episodes hidden from the world. … I continued to protect her until just recently, when she decided I didn’t need protecting and threw me to the proverbial media wolves."

Jamie Lynn Spears writes of wishing she had spoken up early, as to not further "enable" her sister to assign "blame outward without any self-reflection."

"When my sister spoke to the world about her feelings regarding my parents’ purposeful strategy to garner fame, Britney’s impassioned statements included the wrongdoings of everyone involved, without any reference to herself," she wrote. "I realized that until she wants help, nothing I say is going to sway the way she sees herself or her situation. … I am now just coming to terms with how my family’s philosophy of making everything appear fine and excusing Britney’s behavior has led us to where we are today."

More: Britney Spears turns 40 after a whirlwind year of #FreeBritney, paparazzi and the end of her conservatorship

Jamie Lynn Spears also shared in the book what she said was a "recent text" from her sister that read: "I know it’s not your fault and I’m sorry for being so angry at you. Although I’m your big sister, I need you more than you need me and always have."

"I pray for the day she shares these words with the world," Jamie Lynn Spears writes.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Jamie Lynn Spears on Britney, dad, OK! magazine pregnancy announcement