Jamie Lee Curtis and Her Daughter Recall The Emotional Moment Ruby Came Out to Her as Transgender
Jamie Lee Curtis may be the mom in this relationship, but she's "learning" a lot from daughter Ruby, who came out as transgender in July.
When the Halloween actress first shared that Ruby was transitioning in July, she told AARP magazine that she and husband Christopher Guest "have watched in wonder and pride as our son became our daughter Ruby."
Now, Jamie Lee and Ruby are opening up about the experience in an interview with People, in which they recall the "tears," "mistakes" and bonding moments that have transpired in recent months.
They start the interview by sharing that they want to publicly discuss their personal journey so that others feel encouraged to open up about their own gender identity. As Jamie Lee puts it, "If one person reads this, sees a picture of Ruby and me and says, 'I feel free to say this is who I am,' then it's worth it."
Ruby recalls that "scary" moment she decided to come out to her parents. "Just the sheer fact of telling them something about me they didn't know," she explains. "It was intimidating—but I wasn't worried. They had been so accepting of me my entire life."
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Ruby, the youngest of Jamie and Christopher's two children, said that she was too nervous to tell her parents in person so she opted to text them.
Upon receiving the message, Jamie remembered, "I called her immediately. Needless to say there were some tears involved."
Since then, Jamie and Christopher, as well as the rest of the family, have slowly adjusted to calling their daughter Ruby and using she/her/hers pronouns, but not without "mistakes."
Jamie said that not using her dead name has been the "hardest" part of the transition, saying, "The name that you'd given a child. That you've been saying their whole life. And so, of course, at first that was the challenge. Then the pronoun. My husband and I still slip occasionally."
But, for the most part, Ruby doesn't mind. She said, "I don't get mad at them for that."
Regarding their decision to discuss the matter publicly, Jamie said she's not "trying to force-feed something to people," explaining, "I'm simply saying, 'This is our family's experience.'"
For Ruby, she has always tried to "stay out of the limelight," but now, she hopes speaking out will inspire others. "I'm happy to be more visible if it helps others," she explains.
The 25-year-old video editor adds that she always "knew she was different. But I had a negative experience in therapy, so I didn't come out [as trans] immediately when I probably should have." Years later, Ruby met her fiancé and confided in them that she's "probably trans," to which they responded, "I love you for who you are."
Jamie said that she didn't know Ruby was trans till after their conversation but, in retrospect, it made sense, explaining, "When you ask, 'Did you have an inkling that Ruby was trans?' I would say no. But when I replayed Ruby's life, I went, 'Hmm, that, that, those, hmm.'"
Though the actress has "become a little more mindful" of her use of language, she said there's still room for improvement. "I'm a grateful student. I'm learning so much from Ruby. The conversation is ongoing. But I want to know: How can I do this better?"
Ruby simply replied, "You've done the most you can, and that's all I want."
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