James Brolin's Secret to Strong 24-Year Marriage with Barbra Streisand Is Being a Good Negotiator

Lanae Brody
·2 min read
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James Brolin photographed at Will Rogers State Park in Los Angeles, CA, on August 22, 2022. Photographer: Brian Bowen Smith Groomer: Juanita Lyon/Celestine Agency
James Brolin photographed at Will Rogers State Park in Los Angeles, CA, on August 22, 2022. Photographer: Brian Bowen Smith Groomer: Juanita Lyon/Celestine Agency

Brian Bowen Smith

After 24 years of marriage to wife Barbra Streisand, the actor has learned the keys to keeping his relationship strong and successful.

"I think everybody needs to be a negotiator," the 82-year-old shares exclusively with PEOPLE. "Everybody needs to have patience and know when to take a walk."

The 80-year-old legendary singer and Brolin wed in 1998 after being set-up on a blind date and enjoying a meal together.

James Brolin and Barbra Streisand during James Brolin Honored with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, California, United States
James Brolin and Barbra Streisand during James Brolin Honored with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at Hollywood Boulevard in Hollywood, California, United States

SGranitz/WireImage

"I met him at a dinner and expected a bearded mountain-man type, and he had cut off all his hair and was clean-shaven," the actress previously told W Magazine. "I asked him, 'Who screwed up your hair?' "

"He later told me that's when he fell in love with me," Streisand shared. "My fella likes to hear the truth, which is unusual."

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The Sweet Tooth narrator, who was previously married to actresses Jane Cameron Agee and Jan Smithers, thinks learning about one another's past helps map out a healthy road to the future.

James Brolin photographed at Will Rogers State Park in Los Angeles, CA, on August 22, 2022. Photographer: Brian Bowen Smith Groomer: Juanita Lyon/Celestine Agency
James Brolin photographed at Will Rogers State Park in Los Angeles, CA, on August 22, 2022. Photographer: Brian Bowen Smith Groomer: Juanita Lyon/Celestine Agency

Brian Bowen Smith

"Being understanding where your rages and your fire comes from," Brolin, who voiced Zurg in Disney's Lightyear this summer, says. "Knowing that they will calm down and you can negotiate. I don't think anybody's immune to that no matter how great lovers look over at that table, let's say."

But it was actually one of Brolin's on-screen love interests who gave him the best piece of relationship advice he's ever received.

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"Connie Sellecca [pictured below] taught me something that I never did, but was the greatest idea ever," Brolin, who starred in Hotel with the actress in the mid-'80s, says. "Call a shrink six months before you're married and both of you sit there with him. So that once you're married, if you ever need a tune-up, it's not an issue with one of the people. [Otherwise] it's always one of the people say[ing], 'We need to go see such and such,' and the other one says, 'I'm not going,' and that ruins everything.'"

James Brolin and Connie Sellecca during The 44th Annual Golden Globe Awards
James Brolin and Connie Sellecca during The 44th Annual Golden Globe Awards

Ron Galella/Ron Galella Collection via Getty Images

The insightful information has helped contribute not only to the Emmy, Golden Globe and SAG award winner's own long-lasting marital success, but it's worked well for his former co-star, too.

"When she got married for the second time, she said, 'Okay, buster, there's not even a chance until we sit with a shrink ... for six months." Brolin recalled Sellecca saying. "'You can go once a week, once a month.' She didn't care as long as they'd broken the ice to do that and would continue. They've been married for 35 years."