All About J. Cole's Parents, James and Kay Cole

James and Kay Cole welcomed J. Cole in 1985

J. Cole has written about his parents, James and Kay Cole, in his music over the years.

The duo welcomed two sons during their marriage, including the rapper’s older brother, Zach. Cole, born Jermaine Lamarr Cole, was born on a military base in Frankfurt, Germany, where his parents lived until after they split. Following their divorce, Cole and Zach relocated to North Carolina with their mother.

In September 2016, Kay gave The Fayetteville Observer some insight into her younger son’s personality as a child, sharing that he was open to different genres of music — including rap — and would often dance along in the kitchen to bluegrass. Kay noted, "Jermaine was funny. He was a funny kid. He was not afraid to sing and dance."

Cole has historically been private about his life, including about his family. In a trailer for his album 2014 Forest Hills Drive, Cole got candid about putting his relationships with his loved ones, including his mom, on the backburner for his career.

“I’m at the point where it’s like, Nah man, I want to be a better son. Spend more time with my mom, even get to know her better, at this age,” he explained. “I’m a grown man now. Getting to know her now is way different than getting to know her when I was 15. I didn’t know s--- about myself at 15.”

Here’s everything to know about J. Cole’s parents, James and Kay Cole.

J. Cole’s parents are army veterans

Both James and Kay were in the military, but Cole told NPR's Microphone Check in June 2013 that his mom left the service when she gave birth to him.

The rapper talked to AllHipHop.com about his parents’ careers, noting that the reason he ended up living in North Carolina was because he was an “army brat.”

“My mother and my father were in the army when I was young, so that’s how we ended up there,” he said. “It's diverse, there’s a whole bunch of different types of people. You got, White, Black, Asian, Latino. So you meet a lot of different types of people, [I have had] a lot of different types of experiences. I done seen it all from the worst side of town to new kids from the best side of town.”

J. Cole lived on a military base with his family before moving to North Carolina

As a child, Cole moved around with his parents. Before they got divorced, the family lived on a military base in Germany, according to ABC 11.

After the split, Cole’s mother took him and his older brother to live in a trailer park in Spring Lake outside of Fayetteville, North Carolina.

When his mother got remarried, they moved into a home on Forest Hills Drive, which became the title of his third studio album.

“It was one of the scariest places I've been to, because I was always worried about my mother," Cole told the All Things Considered podcast in September 2011 about the trailer park. "Around the fifth or sixth grade, I moved from there to a nicer house where I had my own room. So I saw life at all levels.”

Cole would also spend summers with his dad in Dallas, according to Billboard.

J. Cole’s parents divorced when he was a toddler

Cole was young when his parents separated. He told Microphone Check in June 2013 that their divorce was finalized by the time he was 4.

“My parents were divorced by the time I was even conscious — like I don't remember them ever being together,” he explained. “So my first memories of life were in this real stable neighborhood because it was military quarters.”

Cole said that after his parents got divorced, Kay was no longer able to live in military housing, so they had to move to North Carolina.

Though they had a strained relationship growing up, Cole told Flavourmag in October 2011 that he was able to form a relationship with his father as he got older.

“Me and my pops are getting tighter now that I’m grown,” he explained. “I didn’t really grow up with him around. If I’m in the area where he lives, that’s Texas, I’ll see him.”

J. Cole’s mom was a postal worker

After her time in the army, Kay went on to work as a postal worker for the United States Postal Service. In May 2013, as part of his Bornsinner.com series, Cole paid tribute to his mom and documented the last day of her job after he was able to help her retire.

Kay recalled how she got her job in a voiceover, explaining that she was bartending when an out-of-towner visited the bar and found out she was a veteran and suggested she go apply for a job at the post office. After passing a postal exam, she was hired, noting that she felt like she finally had a “grown up job.”

In November of that same year, Cole told Amaru Don TV that his mom had worked as a postal worker for about 20 years and she was “chilling” post retirement.

“She’s with her family right now. She can do whatever she wants,” he explained. “She can travel, she can visit people as opposed to as we speak right now, she would’ve been delivering mail, walking around no matter if it’s raining or snowing, she would've been out there in the heat.”

J. Cole cites his mom as his musical influence

Tupac, Jay-Z, Nas, Eminem, André 3000 and Lil Wayne were among Cole's musical influences and “North stars," he told Kevin Hart on Hart to Heart in July 2023, but there was one name he didn’t include on the list — his mother.

In June 2013, Cole told NPR that his mom and stepfather served as sources of musical inspiration for him growing up.

“My stepfather brought the hip-hop side and the R&B from your Ohio Players or Marvin Gaye or whatever,” Cole explained. “But he really brought me the hip-hop side. And then you have my mom who was bringing me classic rock and folk music."

Cole continued, "I'm talking Peter, Paul and Mary. Everything from Peter, Paul and Mary to Queen to Eric Clapton and into the modern stuff — so Red Hot Chili Peppers at that time, Counting Crows, Smashing Pumpkins.”

He also recalled his childhood memories of his mom playing music, though he didn’t always like the songs. Cole said he’d often question her choices, noting that it wasn’t “cool” to him.

“But one thing I'm grateful for is, nah, man, that really seeped in my pores — all of that music did,” he noted. “I have such a greater appreciation for all that music.”

J. Cole talks about his relationship with his parents in his music

Cole has explored his personal life in his music, including his relationship with his parents and experiences growing up. In a January 2011 interview with NPR, he discussed his 2011 song “Breakdown,” which was featured on the album Cole World: The Sideline Story.

Cole shared the meaning behind the song in his interview, explaining, “What I was trying to say in that song is that I didn't grow up in the same city as my father, in the same place.”

“So, I graduated school and he came to my graduation because ... he is that type of father,” he added. “But it was around the time of my life I started to just analyze and be like, man, it just felt so good to see my pops. Man, I wish I — you know, it was one of those breakdown moments.”

Cole has also talked about his mom in his music, including helping her retire in his song “Cole Summer.”

In a May 2018 interview with Angie Martinez, Cole opened up about his mom’s reaction to his honest storytelling in his music, including less glamorous moments from his childhood.

“She told me something one time back in the day and I took that as my path. She was like, ‘Look, maybe my story can help somebody and I’m not ashamed of nothing, so tell my story,’ ” he recounted. “But I don't even think she knew how big it could get. Now that it's gotten this big, I have to call her and be like ‘Mom, I’m telling this story. This is about this era.’ ”

Cole added, “We’ve had mad conversations about the past and pain and her way of dealing with pain, how I felt when that was happening, where we're at now compared to where we were then.”

James and Kay are supportive of their son

Both James and Kay have remained supportive of their son, no matter his level of fame.

Kay has attended numerous events to support Cole, including at South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas. She was also by his side at the 2012 Grammy Awards, when Cole was nominated for best new artist.

In April 2022, James was in the crowd at Dreamville Festival in Raleigh, according to The Fayetteville Observer. He was spotted in the front row at the concert and was talking to and taking pictures with fans.

Though he was attending the festival for the first time, he had two simple words to describe the experience of witnessing his son’s hard work to put Dreamville together. “It’s great,” he said.

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