Ivanka Trump's Eyes Speak Her Father's Language
When blue-eyed Donald Trump married hazel-eyed Ivana Zelnickova, he probably figured his broad-shouldered DNA would dominate her girly alleles. But genetics played a cruel trick on Trump: Of the couple's three children, only the youngest, Eric, wound up with his father's fishy blue eyes. Donald Jr. has his father's billionaire outrage but a commoner's brown eyes. And Ivanka's eye color? It's complicated.
In mid-May, Ivanka appeared on CBS This Morning to assure the world that her father is "not a groper. It's not who he is." And who is she? A brown-eyed woman with dirty-blonde hair, apparently.
But wait: In early August, Ivanka showed up for an interview on FOX News' On the Record with Greta van Susteren batting seemingly blue-ish eyes while praising her father for "being authentic." Her hair was now an icy blonde, the shade preferred by men who can't see their penises, like Alfred Hitchcock and Roger Ailes.
Later that month, when speaking at the Republican National Convention, Ivanka pulled another flip-flop, this time within hours. At the early sound check, she showed up with brown eyes and a red dress. But that night, when she introduced her father as the nominee to an audience of 35 million, she was wearing her own "Ivanka Trump" branded pink sheath and noticeably lighter-colored eyes.
We reached out to Ivanka's press representatives at her website to ask if A) she was wearing contacts and, if so, B) what determines which eye color she pops in at an appearance? Her reps responded that they would not be responding. This leaves us to hypothesize our own possible explanations:
1. They're real. Maybe it's all a trick of the light and the magically hue-shifting properties of hazel eyes, the perfect shade for the discriminating chameleon. Like Chaka Khan, Ivanka is every woman...and every eye color. At the recent opening of the Trump International Hotel in DC, she seemed to be sporting a third color, a soft, greenish tint. Her eye color simply reflects all the aspects of a busy working woman's life: no-nonsense brown eyes in the morning, professional green eyes in the afternoon, and kicky blue eyes at night.
2. Daddy's approval. Like everyone in Trump's world, it's all about conforming to Donald's weltanschauung. Two out of three of Donald's wives have had blue eyes and two out of three have had blonde hair. Melania is the dark-hair outlier, but Donald seems to have compensated for the lost blondeness by adopting Ivana's old hairdo.
Blondness is a core Trump-family value: Both Donald Jr. and Eric got the memo and married blondes.
This would explain why natural brunette Ivanka started hitting the (bleach) bottle young. By age ten, she already had roots.
Sure, Ivanka went through a rebellious phase after her parents divorced, flaunting her natural hair color, which at the time matched her dad. Twenty-five years later, real blonde Marla Maples is out of the picture but father and daughter are still matchy-matching.
Not wanting to disappoint, perhaps Ivanka feels pressure to look her best when representing her dad. And by "best," we mean mirroring his look.
3. Appeal to the base. Brown is the most common eye color in the world. Only about eight percent of the global population has blue eyes, which makes them special. Genetically special. So while brown is good enough for the hoi polloi who watch network morning shows, perhaps Ivanka believes that "special" occasions-like appearances on Fox News and at the RNC-merit "fancy eyes."
As Ivanka told Van Susteren back in that August interview, her father offers "a clear and strong vision" for this country. And if she is using phony lenses, Ivanka lets the audience know that "vision" for this country prefers eyes that aren't quite so-wink, wink-brown.
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