Ireland Baldwin Reveals Shame Over Alcohol, Substance Abuse on RTT : 'Didn't Talk to My Parents'

·3 min read

Ireland Baldwin is recalling a time when she "hit a total breaking point."

In a PEOPLE-exclusive preview from this week's episode of Red Table Talk, the 26-year-old model and daughter of Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin reveals she was "self-medicating with Xanax" and "drinking" at one point in her life, noting, "I have a lot of alcoholism and drug addiction in my family."

Ireland tells RTT co-host Willow Smith that she once "had a night where I went way too far with drinking and taking pills, 'cause I couldn't even go to bed at night" without it.

"I had isolated all of my real friends, all of my family. I had no control in anything in my life," she adds. "I tortured myself with my eating disorders."

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ireland baldwin
ireland baldwin

Ireland Baldwin

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Ireland — who appears in the episode alongside mom Basinger, 68, in their first-ever joint interview — also says she "didn't talk to [her] parents for, like, a year" as a result.

"I saw them here and there," she explains of Alec, 64, and Basinger, "but I was so ashamed of what I had become and how I was living."

"I just became this different person. I was emaciated in every way; I was lifeless," Ireland says.

Ireland's appearance on Red Table Talk comes seven years after she checked herself into SOBA Recovery Center — a drug-and-alcohol-treatment facility in Malibu, California, that specializes in psychological disorders and addiction — for "emotional trauma."

"This is not drug-related; she voluntarily checked herself in," a source told PEOPLE at the time. "She's just been in some tough situations lately, and it's gotten a bit stressful and overwhelming, so she's just being proactive. She's in there to get the tools she needs to move forward in a positive direction."

RELATED VIDEO: Ireland Baldwin Checks into Rehab for "Emotional Trauma"

Ireland has also been open about her struggles with eating disorders, celebrating six years of being "free of anorexia and bulimia" in August 2020.

Earlier this month, the model shared a post on Instagram about how she has dealt with her own body insecurities after she "reached a boiling point."

"I have been called some version of fat, ugly, worthless and irrelevant by grown adults on the internet since I was a kid. It's nothing new. Paparazzi have followed me around for whatever boring reason and have snapped photos all up, in, and around my ass, cellulite, back fat, double chin, tits, you name it! It's invasive and super lame, but it's out of my control," she said.

"I have my bad days, of course. But overall, I f---ing LOVE food … like romantically. I love my body. I love the way it moves. I love how I feel in it," Ireland went on, also revealing, "I am in the most freeing mental headspace I have ever been in about my body image."

"Oh, and … 'fat' is beautiful, not an insult. 'Pigs' are adorable. And so smart. SO jokes on you," she added.

Ireland Baldwin and Kim Basinger's episode of Red Table Talk airs Wednesday at 12 p.m. ET on Facebook Watch.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.