Inside Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal's Wyoming Wedding: Serena Williams, Western Vibes and More
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Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal celebrated their wedding on Saturday at Trail Creek Ranch in Jackson, Wyoming — and it was a weekend filled with Western touches.
"Dive bars, country music — this is all a new part of my life, but I love it," Sandberg tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview at her home in the Bay Area, three weeks before the festivities. "It's really fun. I mean, I really never did that much of stuff like this before. I really focused on working and being a mother."
With her new husband a huge fan of country music and Western culture, she says she got on board with a new experience.
"He's getting married in jeans and boots. I'm embracing this!" says Sandberg, 52. "It's definitely been a big part of our relationship. Tom definitely made life a lot more fun."
"We both love it out West. We both love big open spaces. We got engaged on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, and we were in Jackson a couple of years ago and kind of fell in love," says Bernthal, 49, who wore Lucchese boots under slim-fit jeans and a tuxedo jacket.
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Allan Zepeda Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal
The bride wore Monique Lhiullier, off the rack, and changed into a shorter version for the reception. Though she planned to change into cowboy boots herself, a last-minute zipper break threw a snag into those plans.
Guests included Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan; the groom's brother, actor Jon Bernthal; tennis champ Serena Williams; Arianna Huffington; and Sandberg's Option B co-writer Adam Grant.
Allan Zepeda Tom Bernthal (top left) and Sheryl Sandberg (right) at their wedding
"Tom and I met each other later in life — and that means we bring to this relationship a lifetime of friends we each had as well as some friends we've made together," says Sandberg. "What happened this weekend is that our friends became friends and that was so special."
For more on Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal's wedding, pick up the next issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribe here.
Allan Zepeda Serena Williams (left) and Sheryl Sandberg (right of center) with friends
Actress Jean Louisa Kelly sang Brad Paisley's "Then" as Sandberg walked down the aisle — a song carefully chosen for its sentimental lyrics.
"The lyrics are about how 'I thought I loved you then' because you love the person more than you can imagine going forward," says Sandberg, who incorporated the theme into her vows: "I believe that years from now, I will look back to this moment and marvel that I thought I loved you then."
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Guests dined on avocado tartlets, wagyu steaks and black cod. For dessert, there was Affogato and a chocolate-vanilla cake by Charm City Cakes, with coral and pink flowers to match the locally sourced coral and pink dahlias that adorned the reception.
Allan Zepeda Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal
The couple shared a first dance when their wedding band played "Grow Old" by Florida Georgia Line, another song choice with deeply meaningful lyrics.
"How hard is it to find someone you want to grow old with the first time, let alone find that again?" Sandberg tells PEOPLE.
"I think I felt lucky all along," she adds, "but I feel even luckier because now I know what it is to have that loss and have that absence."
Allan Zepeda Tom Bernthal, Sheryl Sandberg, Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan
For Sandberg, whose late husband Dave Goldberg tragically died in 2015 while the couple were on vacation in Mexico, finding love after loss was never something she felt was a guarantee.
"You can't even tell your closest friends, 'one day I hope to date again,' because you're in mourning and you don't want to think that and maybe people would judge. You feel, 'Maybe I'm disloyal for even thinking about it,'" she says.
"I never wanted to grow old alone, and when you lose a spouse suddenly, what you're facing is growing old alone," Sandberg adds. "And it's really hard."
Allan Zepeda The Bernthal brothers: Nicholas, Tom and Jon
It was Dave's own brother Rob who first introduced Sandberg to Tom, Rob's longtime friend, in 2019.
"He said, 'How about my sister-in-law?' And I kind of said, 'Well, sure. That sounds amazing. But I need somebody who's attainable,'" Tom recalls.
For their first date on the Facebook campus that April, "I had to sign an NDA because I was going on the Facebook property and we were together for 29 minutes," Tom jokes.
Allan Zepeda Tom Bernthal and Sheryl Sandberg
But they hit it off. "In that first meeting we talked about death and divorce," he says, turning to Sandberg. "You were so warm and maternal and curious and interested and interesting. We went pretty deep on that first date."
Having Dave's own brother play matchmaker, "it's as close to Dave's blessing as it could possibly have," Sandberg says. "And Rob has said, and has said to my biological children, 'I picked him for you.'"
"I want people to see there's love after loss, love for us after death, love for us after divorce," she says.
Allan Zepeda Tom Bernthal and Sheryl Sandberg
Ahead of the wedding festivities, the couple took a camping trip with their combined five kids (due to security concerns, they do not name the children nor show their faces).
"We just saw it as a chance for us to really be with the kids together," Tom says.
"No connectivity!" adds Sheryl.
Aidan Tanner Sheryl Sandberg and Tom Bernthal with their children on the family's pre-wedding camping trip in Wyoming
At the wedding itself, the five kids all held important roles.
In keeping with the Jewish tradition, they had seven blessings, read by the children, with Sandberg's former brother-in-law Rob reading the final two. For the Jewish tradition of the seven circles, "Tom's going to circle me once, I'm going to circle him once, and then the five kids together are going to circle us one time," Sandberg said.
And the women of the family will each get a ring to commemorate the occasion: Sheryl's features a solitaire stone flanked by five tiny diamonds to represent each child, while each of their daughters will have a silver, gold and rose gold band with a stone of their choice. The rings were designed by Ron Rosenblum of XIV Karats in L.A.
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"We keep saying, 'We're all getting married.' And the kids keep saying, 'You're getting married,'" Sandberg says, imitating her teenagers' deadpan. "So I said, 'Well, our families are getting married.'"
Sandberg says the children's warmth and enthusiasm was the highlight of the night.
"Each of them gave a toast about our family — not just about their relationship with us, but about how close they are to each other," she says. "It was truly touching for both of us to see the five of them standing up there as siblings."
Raising Money for a Good Cause
In lieu of gifts, the couple asked that guests donate to VOW and CARE to fund anti-child marriage programs and poverty alleviation efforts.
Sandberg acknowledges that while "we are choosing to get married," thousands around the world are still forced to marry as children.
"We're making donations ourselves," she says, "but also inviting our guests to celebrate with us and try to end child marriage."
So far, the pair donated $1 million for VOW and $10 million for CARE, Sandberg tells PEOPLE.
