Need a holiday laugh? Funny Christmas jokes for kids, quips to make dad proud
Nothing spreads holiday spirit like a solid Christmas joke.
If you're looking to reload your quip arsenal ahead of the holidays, we've got you covered with jokes for all ages.
Adult happy meals are back for 2023: Kerwin Frost Box offers 6 new McNugget Buddies toys at McDonald's
Here are some of the best memes, jokes for kids, dad jokes, one-liners and knock-knocks that we could find:
Christmas memes 2023
From eating Christmas dinner to tearing open presents, these animals will stop at nothing to stop the holiday joy.
— 24/7Mirror (@27mirror) December 4, 2023
Because the day just isn't complete without a Batman meme.#Christmas #Batman #funny #WritingCommunity #Xmas #authorscommunity #books pic.twitter.com/LtMegwrh1N
— ARGrimes Author (@ARGrimes1) December 21, 2022
As always...we like to have a little fun here at Mid-Am as we head full throttle into the Christmas season. 🎄🎅🤶
Here's a little joke to get us started.#MIDAM #Christmas2023
Visit our website to be sure you don't miss our early winter buys. https://t.co/erLjqEYStJ pic.twitter.com/Ht4FSGEEO5— Mid-AmBuildingSupply (@MidAmBuilding) December 5, 2023
And so it goes every time, haha! 😄#HomeComforts #homedecor #hometomyheart #interiordecor #interior #meme #memes #funnymeme #funnymemes #comfort #home #relax #Christmasgifts #Christmas pic.twitter.com/hCCOI14QO4
— Happy Spaces | Floor Cushion Shop on Etsy.com (@HappySpaces_) December 5, 2023
Favorite Mariah Carey Christmas meme, for your enjoyment pic.twitter.com/vtI1ghaRDF
— Anna Pulley (@annapulley) December 16, 2022
#christmascrackers #jokes #funny #Christmas #Xmas #schools #nativity #crumbling #dadjokes pic.twitter.com/CWsmgbpRMJ
— Daily Dad Jokes 7 (@DailyDadJokes7) December 5, 2023
#GTA6 #opay #Christmas #elves #jokes #laugh #lol #adult pic.twitter.com/oXLOl9v20N
— Cat:) (@bonjovilive) December 5, 2023
🎄In October, we asked you for your best Christmas cracker jokes and with less than 3 weeks to go until the big day, it's time to reveal our #GoldCrackers Top 10... 😂🎅
Congratulations to WINNER @ThisisDouch and runners-up @ndyflood and @Vocal_Chameleon. pic.twitter.com/ywHY8r1Pn4— GOLD (@goldchannel) December 5, 2023
Christmas jokes for kids 2023
Question: Why don’t you ever see Santa Claus in the hospital?
Answer: He has private elf care.
Q: Why wasn't Scrooge mad at Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A: Every buck is dear to him.
Q: How do you know when Santa’s around?
A: You can always sense his presents.
Q: What is green, covered in Christmas lights and Christmas bulbs, and goes ribbit?
A: Mistle-toad.
Q: How do elves clean Santa's sleigh the day after Christmas?
A: Santa-tizer.
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus?
A: North Polish.
Q: What did the Christmas tree do after its bank closed?
A: Started its own branch.
Q: What did the third wise man say after his friends had already presented gold and frankincense?
A: “But wait, there’s myrrh!”
Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?
A: The ghost of Christmas passed!
Q: What kind of music do elves listen to?
A: Wrap music.
Q: What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
A: St. Nickel-less
Q: Why do reindeer wear bells?
A: Their horns don’t work.
Q: Why is it difficult to find Advent calendars?
A: Their days are numbered.
Q: Did Rudolph go to school?
A: No he was elf taught.
Q: Why does Comet hate doing chores at the North Pole?
A: He always gets stuck cleaning the bathroom.
Q: What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.
Q: What do you call a child who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: Rebel without a Claus.
Q: What does a soccer announcer get from Santa when he makes the naughty list?
A: COOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!
Christmas dad jokes 2023
Q: How is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
Q: What's every parent's favorite Christmas song?
A: Silent Night.
Q: What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad?
A: A pineapple.
Q: Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
A: He was picking his nose.
Q: What is thre Grinch's least favorite band?
A: The Who
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve!
Q: What should you expect at the end of Christmas Day?
A: The letter Y.
Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?
A: They log-on.
Q: What are the best Christmas sweaters made from?
A: Fleece Navidad.
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?
A: May the forest be with you!
Q: What did the teacher say to Rudolph when he didn’t prepare for his test on the Civil War?
A: You’ll go down in history.
Q: How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out out on the town?
A: They spruce up!
Q: What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?
A: Orna-mints.
Q: What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
A: Santa walking backward!
Q: How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born?
A: A weigh in the manger.
Christmas one-liners 2023
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
Ah, Christmastime. When everyone gets Santamental.
There are three stages of Christmas for men − believing in Santa, not believing in Santa and becoming Santa.
My wife said she'd like nothing better than diamond earrings for Christmas, so I don't understand why she was so upset when she opened the empty box.
Christmas knock-knock jokes 2023
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? Your Santa impression needs a little work!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to know what you’re getting for Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting Santa. Interrupting Santa wh- Ho ho ho!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who? Gladys Christmas!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
Chris Sims is a digital producer for the Journal Star. Follow him on Twitter: @ChrisFSims.
This article originally appeared on Journal Star: Christmas jokes 2023: Funny memes, one-liners to make dad proud
