The Hills Recap: Can You Believe There Was Drama at the Crystal Party?

Andy Swift

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Only on a show like The Hills: New Beginnings could one character look at another in earnest and sigh, “Maybe at the crystal party, we’ll see what happens.”

The party in question was an $80,000 shindig for Spencer and Heidi Pratt’s we-can’t-believe-it’s-a-real-company Pratt Daddy Crystals, which is allegedly so successful that it’s become the couple’s primary source of income. And just as Audrina Patridge foretold, we did see what happened.

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While Spencer and Heidi were busy tricking influencers into promoting their product, Audrina confronted Justin Bobby about denying that they kissed. As he recalled, it was only a “goodbye” kiss, one that Audrina apparently blew out of proportion. As for his relationship with Stephanie — which Joey (loudly!) believes is more than friendly — Justin admitted that they connect on a different level because “she doesn’t have a husband or a kid.” (Such a charmer, this guy!)

Also worth discussing…

* Brody Jenner’s honest conversations about his father remain the most interesting part of this show, and we got a real doozy this week as his mom recalled the day ex-husband Caitlyn told her she wanted to transition, decades ago. Brody also admitted that he’s still upset about Caitlyn deciding not to attend his wedding five days before the ceremony. (You know, it’s a shame Caitlyn couldn’t have just given her ticket to Spencer. We could have avoided this whole thing!)

* Did we imagine this, or did Brody’s mom tell Kaitlynn that she wanted to fatten her up so she could bear the weight of a child? She said was kidding, but…

* And, wait, how did we not know that Brody’s stepdad was David Foster… aka Yolanda Hadid’s ex-husband… aka Katharine McPhee’s current husband? Can we get a spinoff about that situation please?

* Does anyone know if Mischa Barton ended up booking that Kelsey Grammer indie she kept casually bringing up? A cursory look at her IMDb profile makes us think she didn’t, but until we get confirmation, we’ll keep a candle lit.

* You know what, we’re still not done talking about Pratt Daddy Crystals. Spencer and Heidi really sell $1,000 crystals a week?! We’d ask where they all come from, but… maybe we don’t want to know.

* “There’s just so much more about Ashley that I want to find out about. And I want to sleep with her, so that’s a plus!” (We take back what we said about Brandon Lee being the most mature one on this show. That honor now goes to Gunner’s assistant.)

OK, let’s talk: What did you think of The Hills: New Beginnings‘ fourth episode? You still holding on? Whatever’s on your mind (what’s left of it, anyway), drop a comment with your thoughts below.

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