Hilaria Baldwin Discusses Pregnancy Loss and Miscarriage: 'I Think of the Babies I Lost Daily'
Taylor Hill/FilmMagic Hilaria Baldwin
Hilaria Baldwin always has the babies she lost to miscarriage and pregnancy loss on her mind.
The Mom Brain podcast co-host, 37, suffered a miscarriage in April 2019. Months later she conceived again with husband Alec Baldwin and at 16 weeks pregnant, Hilaria suffered a pregnancy loss in November 2019.
In honor of Infertility Awareness Week, Hilaria shared a candid post about missing her "angels" although she is "so blessed" with her six children.
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"I had two miscarriages in a row in 2019–the second at 4 months. I was told 'it's just bad luck'...there is so much mystery why certain souls come into our lives and others do not," she wrote alongside a photo of her crying with her daughter Carmen Gabriela, 7 ½, that she first posted in November 2019 announcing her pregnancy loss.
Hilaria continued, "Today this baby I cried for in this picture would have been about a year. April 23 was her 39 weeks. I had to go home and sleep with her inside of me for one more night before having surgery the next. This was the last photo of my girls at the time."
"My face so swollen—I remember being surprised that the body could make so many tears—kept on thinking I'd run out of them. The next photo was a snap I took a day or so before I found out I had lost her. I looked tired, but happy...celebrating the pregnancy," she said of a photo showing her baby bump.
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Following the couple's loss, Hilaria and Alec, 63, welcomed son Eduardo "Edu" Pao Lucas, whom she gave birth to in September, and daughter María Lucía Victoria, whom she recently welcomed via surrogate.
Hilaria expressed her gratitude for her youngest children before adding, "but I think of the babies I lost daily."
"Resigned and respectful of how my life has unfolded. Allowing for gratitude and grief, wholeness and longing to be the dualities of my reality," the podcast co-host said of her complex emotions.
She added, "We all have different fertility/infertility stories and there are so many ways we can become parents."
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"Being a parent truly is caring in the deepest way for another soul...through that giving energy we nurture ourselves and fill the world with love," Hilaria wrote. "I am just as much a mother to my Angel babies as I am to the ones I can physically hold in my arms."
The proud mom then assured followers struggling, past and present, with infertility that they "are not alone" and that "together we can lighten each other's load through support and understanding."
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In addition to "rainbow babies" Edu and María and her eldest child Carmen, Hilaria and Alec are parents to sons Romeo Alejandro David, 2½, Leonardo Ángel Charles, 4, and Rafael Thomas, 5½. (Alec is also dad to 25-year-old daughter Ireland.)