Hawaii Five-0 Meets Magnum P.I.: The Crossover's 12 Best Quotes

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CBS’ two island dramas officially and fully merged this Friday, as unfinished business involving Wo Fat’s widow found (most of) the Hawaii Five-0 team working with Magnum P.I.‘s Thomas, Juliet, Rick and T.C.

As the two casts converged in the hunt for a valuable NOC list of CIA agents, much banter was to be had between the assorted personalities. Here — and especially since TVLine’s Quotes of the Week column is still on holiday — are the best sound bites from at least the first half of the two-hour crossover, during which the most major characters got to mix and mingle:

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“What exactly are you investigating?”

“I’m so sorry but I’m not sure that we’re going to be inclined to indulge this rather brusque line of questioning.”

“Oh, you’re very English.”

Quinn (played by Katrina Law) learns what Higgins (Perdita Weeks) is all about


“Oh, let me guess — you have a rendition room in your basement where you’ll leverage us until we cooperate.”

“Hold on, I like this woman.”

Has McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) found his perfect match in Higgins?


H50 Magnum Crossover
H50 Magnum Crossover

“These fancy computers can’t compete with strong intuition.”

“He’s just trying to impress you. Every opportunity he gets, he asks me to reach for my laptop in search of a break.”

Magnum (Jay Hernandez) shrugs off Five-0’s fancy toys — but Higgins knows better


“There a problem?”

“Other than the fact that I’m in a passenger in my own car, no.”

“I like to drive, it’s kind my thing.”

“Well, this car is kind of my thing — being that it… belongs to me.”

“I like to drive, that’s all.”

“I’m sure your partner loves that.”

“He’s fine with it.”

“I have a sneaking suspicion he’s not.”

Magnum hasn’t even met McGarrett’s MIA partner, and he knows him already


“A guy with your skill sets should consider law enforcement.”

“I’m more of an improvise-as-you-go, not-necessarily-by-the-book rule follower.”

“[Steve shrugs] It’s never stopped me.”

McGarrett fails to recruit Magnum


“Gimme the envelope know, or I shoot your chatty friend!”

“Him? He’s not my friend. I barely know this guy, I met this guy today.”

A goon puts the squeeze on Steve, by threatening Magnum.

Afterwards, Magnum has to ask:

“What kind of SEAL are you? You were happy to let that go shoot me. So much for ‘No Man Left Behind.'”


“So, you got to drive a Ferrari! How was it?”

“Dude, we just got held up at gunpoint, that’s your first question for me? [Whispers] It was amazing.”

“Tell me about it later.”

“I will.”

But will Steve mention to Lou the $1,600 in shot-out tires?


Of course, sometimes a sheepish eye roll is worth 1,000 words, after Higgins catches Tani flirting with Junior:


“Am I the only one here that doesn’t speak Chinese?!”

Magnum feels left out after Quinn, Higgins and McGarrett show off their fluency


“Spill the tea!”

“‘Spill the tea’? Is that because I’m British…?”

Tani (Meaghan Rath) pumps Higgins for cloak-and-dagger gossip. At episode’s end, though, Higgins delivered the most memorable bit of dialogue, telling her new gal pal:

“If you find someone at work who brings a bit of light into your life, someone who makes you happy, you should pursue it.”

What were your favorite exchanges among the H50/Magnum P.I. characters?

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